Catapult
by gateship
Summary: When Rodney discovers an ore that could answer Atlantis defence problems, he and Laura Cadman decide to investigate. But it's only a matter of time before something goes very wrong... [McKayCadman. PostThe Return? No spoilers]
1. Chapter 1

"The level of radiation is basically charging the ore within the rocks. If nothing else, it's worth going to see if there's any form of power worth harnessing."

Doctor Rodney McKay sat back in his seat and looked round the room. The presentation had gone over reasonably well, considering the obvious concerns. Still he could tell by the expression on Sheppard's face that at least one person wasn't sold. And neither was Elizabeth Weir.

"I don't know Rodney," she said quietly. "That's an awful lot of radiation to put someone in contact with."

"They wouldn't be in contact with it as _such_."

"I understand that, but still-"

"We're talking a something that could be this galaxy's version of naquadria," Rodney argued, watching with satisfaction as this little piece of information was absorbed. It was his last card and whilst he was betting on it heavily, he suspected that it was a winning one.

He was right. He could see it in the glance Elizabeth shared with Sheppard, the expression on the colonel's face. The glance annoyed him a little because once she wouldn't have done that. But then once she had trusted him implicitly and, while she did still trust him, it was no longer the blind confidence she'd had. She looked at him.

"This would be solely a fact-finding mission," she said, her tone firm. "There's no side-steps, no experiments outside establishing whether or not this ore has the qualities you think they will."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I realise _that_."

Sheppard sat forward. "You're talking about something that could be weapons grade yeah?" Rodney nodded in confirmation. "Then there's one person you should take."

"Well I was going to take a team and…" Rodney trailed off as he realised whom Sheppard was referring to. "No!"

"Oh come _on_, Rodney, she's an explosives expert. And while I appreciate your enthusiasm, I need a level-headed opinion of what you find."

"But…" Rodney looked at Sheppard and saw that he wasn't going to brook arguments. "Whatever."

"I knew you'd see sense," Sheppard told him with a grin. He hit his comm. "Lieutenant Cadman, could you come to the briefing room immediately?" He sat back again, giving Rodney a victorious smirk.

Rodney glared at him; Sheppard knew full well he and Cadman didn't see eye to eye. It had been a while since they'd last worked together, again under duress, and the last time he'd seen her she'd just sort of looked at him in a way that had let him know precisely how much of his accusion about being a Trust operative she'd heard. He turned his attention to his datapad. This was too good an opportunity to miss out on and yet he might because if Cadman didn't agree, he wasn't going. Sheppard was chancing a new source of firepower simply for the chance to see her reject the whole idea out of spite. Rodney shook his head in disgust.

Lieutenant Laura Cadman was in the training room sparring with Teyla when Sheppard's call came through. She lowered her sticks, breathing hard but grinning at her opponent.

"Saved by the bell."

"You or me Lieutenant?" Teyla returned. "You are most capable. Maybe one day when you have the time you could show Colonel Sheppard a thing or two."

Laura laughed. "That'd be fun." She grabbed a towel from the bench and dried her face. She glanced down at the vest top and cropped trousers she was wearing. "Immediately," she sighed. "No chance to change then."

"Colonel Sheppard does not stand on ceremony," Teyla reminded her.

"Good job. I wonder what he wants? I'm meant to be on downtime for another three days."

"There is only one way to find out."

"That there is. See you later, Teyla. Thanks for this."

Teyla bowed her head and Laura left the room, heading for the briefing room. As she walked down the corridor, she glanced out of the windows she passed. Outside the day was clear and bright, which made her frown. "Immediately" hinted at some kind of emergency, but they were obviously not under attack.

She reached the briefing room and activated the door. Stepping in, she saw Doctor Weir talking quietly to Colonel Sheppard. Across the table was Doctor McKay who glanced up at her briefly, looking extremely pissed off. Okay. Laura halted at the doorway, deciding that having a quick escape route at her back was probably a good idea.

"You wanted to see me sir?" she addressed Sheppard and ignoring Rodney as much as he was ignoring her.

"Yeah. How do you feel about a little day trip Lieutenant?"

Laura considered the offer, glancing again at Rodney's irritated expression. "I don't know sir," she said lightly. "What's it involve?"

"Sun and sightseeing," Sheppard replied with a grin.

"Seeing what?"

"This," Rodney spoke up suddenly. She looked at him and he pushed the datapad towards her. Intrigued by his sudden change of demeanour, Laura crossed to the table and looked at it. It was part of the Ancient database, information on a planet and... The data displayed made her blink and she stared at Rodney.

"What is that?" she asked in amazement.

"You tell me Lieutenant," he challenged her. "You're meant to be an expert."

Laura sank into the chair next to him, her eyes on the datapad and her brain working rapidly. What she saw didn't make that much sense, not because she was stupid but because the possibility was so remote.

"This isn't possible," she murmured in denial of what she was seeing.

"And yet there it is," Rodney replied.

"If this is correct…" she looked at him again. "The Pegasus answer to naquadria?"

"Exactly."

"But…" Laura still couldn't see how this was possible but it was there in plain view and Rodney's somewhat superior attitude confirmed the findings. Knowing he would have checked this data forwards, backwards and upside down, she felt a growing excitement. "Cool."

Rodney threw a smug look in Sheppard's direction, then sat back in his chair and folded his arms. "I told you so," he told him.

The colonel sat forward and looked at Laura. "As an explosives expert I need you to accompany Doctor McKay and get some samples. I can trust you be evaluate the situation clearly and not blow anything up."

"Thank you," Rodney muttered darkly.

Laura was still examining the findings. "Looking at this, the levels of radiation are likely to get into dangerous amounts," she said.

"Yes. I had planned on going by myself, but the good colonel recommended you."

"Jeez, thanks sir," she said sourly, giving him a hard look. She turned to Rodney again. "You offered to go to a radiation hot planet by yourself?" She couldn't help the incredulous tone creeping into her voice.

Unsurprisingly, he didn't look impressed. "I don't appreciate your insinuation, Lieutenant. Some gains are worth the risk. And anyway, this is my find – I don't want Zelenka or Kavannagh stealing it."

"Of course not," she said in mock seriousness. Sheppard snorted.

Rodney didn't seem to notice. "So to minimise the amount of exposure there's no team, just us."

"You and me?" she echoed. "Did hell just freeze over?"

Rodney gave her a hard look but before he could say anything Doctor Weir spoke up most probably to forestall the argument she saw brewing. "We'll be sending a MALP shortly," she said. "Once we have exact readings we can plan the mission better. I've already given Doctor Beckett a preliminary report based on Doctor McKay's forecast."

"So what do you think Lieutenant?" Sheppard asked her.

She thought about it, weighing the obvious dangers with the possible gains. Feeling Rodney's gaze on her, she looked up at him. Beneath the calm mask she saw excitement and nervousness. Knowing Colonel Sheppard as she did, she suspected the mission depended on her 'volunteering' – it certainly wouldn't have been Rodney asking for her assistance.

"This is never going to be suitable as a power source," she said, focusing on him. Weir and Sheppard didn't have anything to do with this now; it was between her and Rodney.

"I never said it was," he pointed out. "However as an alternative to our dwindling supply of drones, it's perfect."

"_Could_ be perfect," she amended. "We might not be able to find a safe way to hone the ore."

"I'm not sure that's necessary. It just needs to be fire-able."

"Is that a word?"

"You knew what I meant didn't you?"

"Well, yes."

"Then it's a word."

Laura shook her head slightly with a smirk. "It might be, but we still need to be able to handle it. You know, without suffering radiation burns?"

"You're jumping the gun, we aren't mining it right now. This about ascertaining its suitability and whether we could mine it safely _eventually_."

"Hey you want to drag me to some souped up radiation hot spot, you give me a little assurance here. Dying of radiation poisoning isn't that high up on my things to do list."

Elizabeth coughed, interrupting them effectively. "Why don't you two argue about this after we have the MALP results?" she suggested. "All this is conjecture until I'm convinced you'll both be safe."

"We weren't arguing, we were _discussing_," Rodney said airily.

"It sounded like arguing," Sheppard pointed out.

"Heated discussion," Laura expanded quickly.

Colonel John Sheppard looked from McKay's innocent expression to Laura's cheeky grin. He lifted an eyebrow, then sighed.

"Oh dear."

Elizabeth went to catch up with paperwork whilst she waited for the MALP to return, while John had a few reports to write. Their leaving the room left Rodney and Laura to their own devices. Rodney paced impatiently, hating the uncertainty of waiting. Laura remained seated and tried to read his preliminary report again. However she was distracted by his continuous walking up and down.

"_Will_ you stop that?" she groused finally. "I'm trying to concentrate here."

"Oh I'm sorry, am I putting you off?"

She gave him a withering look. "Grow up and sit down. If we're gonna do this McKay, we might as well go in clued up."

"I am clued up. I've been studying the original scans for nearly a week."

"Yeah well, while you were sat on your ass, some of us were doing real work out in the field. So give over and let me read this will you?"

He gave a sniff but he did stop pacing. He sat down in the chair next to hers, watching her. She found his intent observation almost as off putting as his pacing. She gave an exasperated sigh and looked at him.

"What?"

"I never thought you'd side with me."

"If I'd have noticed what you neglected to tell Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard, I might not have done. There's an awful lot in here they wouldn't like."

"If you don't like it, you know where the door is," he said in a somewhat sulky voice.

Laura sighed. "Must you be like that? I didn't say I wasn't going to go. This is a find in a million."

"So what's your problem then?"

"Oh I don't know. Let's start with the interference levels. Does Doctor Weir realise that radios aren't going to work?"

"It's a minor detail."

"No, it's not and you know it isn't. I understand why you're glossing over that kind of stuff with Weir and Sheppard and I don't really care cos they're not going. But I am, so stop lying to me Rodney."

He stared at her for a moment and then nodded slowly. "Okay, you have a point. I guess you have a right to know the worst-case scenerio. No, we won't be able to check in, not via the radios anyway. The transmitter won't cut through the atmosphere. We could haul a heavy-duty one with us but I don't see the point. Once we're there we can't return to Atlantis until the suns go down and I doubt Elizabeth is going to allow a second team out unless it's seriously the last thing she can do."

Laura looked at him and then down at the laptop. "We've done none-contact missions before," she said slowly. "At least it's only the environment that's hostile."

"So that's a 'yes' then? As to whether you're coming?"

"I have to say yes, don't I?" she retorted archly. "Else you can't go.

A flash of annoyance crossed Rodney's face that Laura suspected was more at Sheppard than herself. Then it tempered into something else entirely. He looked at her almost warily.

"If you're saying yes, I guess you're not still be angry at me."

"Angry about what?" she asked before realising. "Oh, the Trust thing?"

"Yeah, that. I never actually... admitted I was wrong."

"It's called an 'apology' Rodney." Laura reminded him with a short, soft laugh. She gave him a long, steady look. "Yes, you were. And I saved your ass."

"I know," he replied. "And I appreciated it even if I didn't exactly say... well anything. You also saved Kavannagh's, which I'm not so appreciative about." He gave her a crooked smile and she had to grin. He shrugged then. "You saw something I didn't. Having a second pair of eyes was useful then and I guess it would be given the circumstances we'd be going into. So while I might not have been overly happy about Sheppard's recommendation, I suppose if I _have_ to take someone... well I'm glad it's you."

Laura frowned as she thought that over. "Was there a _compliment_ in there?"

"Nah," he said with a sudden grin that made him appear more boyish than she thought was possible. "Don't be stupid."

"No," she said, turning her attention back to the report with a smile. "Of course there wasn't."

The meeting reconvened an hour later. The MALP had scanned the planet, sending back a three-dimensional layout as well as the vital readings for radiation and oxygen. Its findings were displayed on a large screen as Laura Cadman and Carson Beckett took their seats.

"We're reading nitrogen levels slighter higher than those on Earth but still within acceptable levels," Rodney announced. "There's very little water though. Major difference is it's a twin star system – it has two suns. The MALP reads radiation and UV at Earth-like levels, but the secondary sun is unstable and giving out major flares."

Beckett looked up. "That's concerning."

"I agree," Rodney said. "However there was a steady increase in the UV levels before the flare that the MALP witnessed. We can take diagnostic equipment that will pick up such increases, which would give us enough warning to get undercover."

"Pack plenty of sun cream huh?" Laura quipped.

"It's not funny Laura," Beckett said. "A flare could be seriously damaging."

"I know Carson. Don't worry, I'll look after him."

"That wasn't quite what I meant," he replied sourly.

"Carson, we're capable adults, not children," Rodney explained as patiently as he could. "No it's not going to be a walk in the park but the dangers are manageable."

"I agree with Rodney," Laura said, ignoring the incredulous looks that crossed the faces of the others at that statement. "There's no problem that a little care and attention can't account for. This is too big an opportunity to miss."

"Well that's it," said Sheppard after he recovered from his shock. "We need every possible advantage we can get over the Wraith."

"I still say it's a bad idea to expose anybody to those levels of UV," argued Beckett.

Elizabeth sighed and looked at Rodney. "You are sure the risk is minimal?"

"Yes I am," he replied firmly. "The MALP shows there's a series of hills half a kilometre from the 'Gate. We take a jumper and fly to them. There are deep caves that offer complete protection that can be used as a base and the jumper's shielding will protect us there and back."

"Do you have a problem with that Carson?" Elizabeth asked him.

"I suppose not."

"Well that's settled," Rodney said brightly. "So can we get on with it?"

"Wait a minute Rodney," Elizabeth said quickly. "I think we'd all feel better establishing a schedule of contacts."

"Ah," he said and looked at Laura.

"We can't," she told them.

"Pardon me?" Beckett said, looking worried.

"Why not?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

Laura took a deep breath. "We realised from the original data readings that there'll be too much interference even a few hundred yards from the Stargate."

"But the MALP worked okay," Sheppard said, looking puzzled.

"So will the jumper, but we have to leave it behind the hills so we'll only have the comms."

"I don't like that," Elizabeth admitted.

"_You're_ not going," Rodney retorted. Elizabeth glared at him.

"He does have a point ma'am," Laura said respectfully. "I know exactly what the risks are. We both do. We can do this and then… well best case is we find something to replace the drones, something that'll blow the Wraith out of the sky."

"And worst case is you both suffer fatal doses of radiation," Beckett pointed out.

"Which you can be assured we'll do our best to avoid," Rodney said.

Elizabeth looked at him and then at Laura. They both seemed confident, though in Rodney's case that was nothing unusual. She addressed Laura. "You are completely sure about this?"

Laura glanced at Rodney and then looked back to Elizabeth. "Yes," she said firmly.

"Okay," Elizabeth said slowly, ignoring the stare from Carson. "You have a go, but please be careful."

Laura nodded gravely. Rodney sighed in relief; he'd been nervous that Elizabeth would have second thoughts and cancel the mission. He looked at Laura and she smiled faintly at him. However Carson was hovering, his expression worried.

"I really don't like this," he told them.

"We'll be fine Carson," Laura told him, her tone hinting at slight irritation.

Carson looked at Rodney. "You need to take care of her."

"Oh please," Laura said crossly, standing up. "I can take care of myself. This is why I'm here, this is my job. Stop treating me like I made out of glass."

Rodney shifted in his seat, uncomfortable at witnessing their disagreement. Carson sighed and walked off, muttering to himself.

"He's just worried," Rodney told Laura.

"Well he needs to stop. I'm not his responsibility."

"I take it you and he aren't… you know?"

"No. Not that it's any of your business."

Her snappy tone made Rodney look at her carefully. "You okay?"

"Oh don't," she said, giving him a pleading look. "We spilt up, it's not like somebody died. I have enough people acting like I have the plague without you at it as well."

"Alright," he said easily. "Forget I asked."

Laura gave him a wan smile. "Alright, I will."


	2. Chapter 2

By early afternoon, preparations for Rodney's mission were well under way. The jumper bay was a bustle of scientists and marines, equipping the craft with supplies and devices. Rodney himself was overseeing the loading of the puddle jumper, delivering orders with little regard to whom he was addressing. After one particularly blistering tirade, Zelenka put down a box of equipment and gave his fellow scientist a hard look.

"Are you sure you do not require it wrapping?" he asked sarcastically.

Rodney frowned. "Of course not, don't be ridiculous. Now. Where are those radiation suits?" He wandered off, leaving Zelenka fuming helplessly before stalking away, muttering in Czech.

Carson Beckett entered the jumper bay with the medical supplies and stared round at the organised chaos. He walked over to where Rodney was carefully checking over the radiation suits.

"I thought you were going for a day, not an entire month."

"Well you're the one with all the concerns," Rodney reminded him. "I think we'll be covered for every eventuality from measles to the end of the world."

"You _are_ basically going to be on your own Rodney," Carson pointed out. "Elizabeth won't sanction a rescue unless it's absolutely the last resort."

"Nice to know we're so vital," Rodney said sourly.

"This was your idea."

"That it was." He shrugged. "Least if the worst happens, I'll have made a name for myself."

Carson folded his arms. "What about Laura?"

Rodney looked at his friend and sighed. "She's a grown woman, Carson. This was her decision, not mine or even Sheppard's. She knows what she's doing."

"I certainly hope so because I know what you can be like when you get an idea in your head. You can be very persuasive when you put your mind to it. I just hope she's looked at this properly and isn't going on your sell."

"As it happens, she did," Laura said as she walked past. Carson flinched and Rodney winced. They both watched her walk over to a stack of crates, checking them off with the list she held in one hand.

"I think I might have a patient that needs immediate attention," Carson said faintly.

"Good idea," Rodney whispered. "Quick, run. I'll distract her."

Laura looked round at them and Carson turned quickly. She watched him leave and then looked at Rodney, her arms crossed.

"Would you care to explain?" she asked sharply.

"It was him!" Rodney said, pointing at the now empty door. "I never said nothing."

Laura rolled her eyes. "Oh please. What was he worrying about now? The likelihood I'll hit my period and go into a mood? That I might break a nail and cry all day? Sheesh."

Rodney checked his own list. "Sanitary pads - check. Files - check. Tissues – check. Yep covered for everything." He looked up at her with a grin.

"That's funny," she said flatly. "You want a mission to the infirmary with a broken nose?"

"Excuse me, _I _wasn't the one casting aspersions on your ability. I have full confidence you can make a great cup of coffee."

Laura walked over to him slowly and stood in front of him. She stared at him for a moment before his cheeky grin cracked her resolve. She glanced away as a reluctant smile crossed her face.

"You're such an idiot," she told him.

"Me? I'm a genius I am. Says so on my resume."

"Yeah? Well Genius, are we ready yet or not?"

Rodney looked over to where two marines were packing the last of the supplies into the puddle jumper.

"Yep," he said brightly. "That's if we can actually take off with all that stuff inside."

"I think it'll cope. Right. Are we waiting for the send off or just running now?"

"Let's just run," Rodney decided. "Save us having to stand through another of Elizabeth's slip-slop-slap speeches."

"Does she know you talk like that about her?" Laura asked curiously.

"She should do – I've been doing it long enough."

"You're lucky. If you were talking about me like that I'd thump you."

"Elizabeth's less violent than you are. Suppose that's cos she's a diplomat and you're... um... you."

"I'm quite happy being me, thank you very much," she told him. "I get to go to new worlds, seek out new civilisations, run the risk of fatal sunburn. S'an adventure."

Rodney snorted a laugh. "Okay. Let's boldly go then."

They walked into the jumper, Laura activating the ramp behind them. She sat in the pilot's seat and waited for Rodney to take the co-pilot's.

"Have we got everything?"

He glanced over this shoulder at the full compartment behind him. "We've got most of Atlantis packed in the rear, so I'm pretty sure we have."

"Excellent." She hit her comm. "Atlantis Tower this is Jumper One. We're all set and ready to go here."

"Alright Lieutenant," Sheppard's voice said. "You have a go. See you in forty hours."

"Yes sir."

Laura fired up the jumper's engines and the space craft lifted smoothly off the ground. The hatch to the Gateroom opened and she lowered the jumper down. Rodney entered the co-ordinates of the planet and the Stargate activated, the huge whoosh lighting the inside of the cockpit blue.

Laura watched the initial explosion settle. She understood the basic mechanics of wormhole technology but the sight of what appeared to be an upright puddle never ceased to amaze her. Being reduced to ones molecules and sent through space like a human email wasn't something she particularly enjoyed, preferring the solidity of ships such as the Daedalus and the jumper she was currently flying, but it was a small enough price to pay to visit other planets.

"You okay?" Rodney's voice cut through her thoughts.

"What? Yeah. Right, let's go."

The slightest touch and the jumper shot forward and into the event horizon.

The planet beyond the 'Gate was bleak, a landscape of grey rocks tinted pink by the sun rising over the horizon. Laura guided the jumper through the cloudless sky, heading the craft towards where the MALP has indicated the hills and the cave network within them. The caves were sheltered from the suns, and from the deadly rays the second one gave out during its flares.

The flight path from the Gate to the caves was fairly straight-forward and after a moment, Laura turned to the rather bored looking Rodney.

"Want to fly her in?" she asked him.

"Me?" he said in surprise. "I can't fly in a straight line."

"That's okay; we don't want to _go_ in a straight line."

"Well Sheppard has me giving me lessons."

"Pfft," she dismissed. "He's like a mother hen. Here, take the controls."

She stood, allowing him to take her place. He sat down, the jumper shifting suddenly sideways he he grabbed the controls.

"Relax," Laura murmured. "Take it easy."

"I'm_ trying,_" he ground out.

"Yes, too hard. Loosen your grip; _feel_ the controls."

"If I let go, we'll crash."

"I didn't say to let go," Laura said. She activated the HUD and lent over his shoulder, her eyes on the display. She pointed at the screen. "That's where we want to go. Now, that's the compass, bring her round 'til it's at point two one one. That's it. Now just hold her there."

Rodney took a deep breath. He watched the numbers, trying to keep the jumper's heading exact. There was a warm pressure on his back where Laura's abdomen pressed. She rested one hand on his left shoulder; the other was on his right wrist, gently guiding his movements. Her fragrance filled his nostrils and he found it somewhat off-putting. He glanced at her briefly; she was following his progress on the HUD, a slow smile creeping across her face. She looked down at him and smiled fully. He grinned back at her, then remembered what he was supposed to be doing and looked back to the display quickly.

"I think I actually have it," he said, sounding a little amazed.

"It's easy, really," Laura replied. "Your problem was the over-protect mother hen."

Rodney chuckled. "He's not a mother hen; it's worse than that. Learning with him is like dating his only and virginal daughter."

Laura laughed. "Major Lorne taught me. I think he'd like to see jumpers used for speedway."

"God, yeah I know what you mean. He likes to push it, doesn't he?"

"Just a little. Okay, how are your landing skills?"

"I can get her down. Might be in a few pieces though."

"Hmm, let's see if we can skip that today. Where're we at?" The HUD changed, showing them a closer view of the hills and indicating the landing spot Laura had chosen earlier. "Alright, slow her down. Yeah, like that. Downwards, Rodney, that's where the ground is."

"Really? I'd not noticed."

"Hush and concentrate. Slowly. Keep her level."

The jumper settled gently on the ground. Rodney blinked in shock and then laughed.

"Holy crap, I did it."

"Yay!" Laura cheered, giving him an impromptu hug.

Rodney stiffened. "Okay, I can do without the sarcastic enthusiasm."

"I wasn't being sarcastic," she said, backing off and folding her arms crossly. "Jeez, Rodney. Can't you handle a simple compliment?"

"Sorry," he apologised. "Um. Thanks."

Laura looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "S'okay. Come on, let's start shifting stuff into the cave before that other sun gets too high."

Rodney lugged a box of supplies from the jumper, stumbling as he walked the uneven ground to the cave. Virtually dropping the box just past the opening, he looked up to find Laura sat on one of the crates, drinking from her canteen.

"Nice to see we're sharing the work," he remarked dryly.

She looked over at him. "Excuse me but I have been doing."

"Yeah? How many boxes exactly have you brought in?"

"Sorry but I didn't realise we were in competition so I didn't keep count."

Rodney sighed and sat down on the box. "I'm beginning to wonder if I'd have been better staying home and configuring one of the MALPs to do all this."

"Where's your spirit of adventure?" Laura asked him.

"I had to leave it on Atlantis so we could fit in all the boxes."

She laughed. "Here," she said and tossed him the canteen. "Have a drink. I'll find us some some power bars. I think you could do with the recharge."

It took her a moment to find the box of food supplies. She opened it up and rooted through, finally brandishing a handful of bars successfully. Wandering over to Rodney, Laura pushed him over and perched on the box next to him.

"There are other boxes," he pointed out.

"Did you want one of these?" Laura retorted, waving a bar at him.

"Yes. Give it here."

"Don't see why I should."

"Cadman..."

"There's an entire box over there."

Rodney gave a weary sigh. "Okay, fine. You can sit here. Now could I please have a bar?"

Laura gave him a broad smile and a power bar. "See? It's amazing what being nice can get you."

"Hmm. Maybe," he replied, not sounding convinced. He devoured the bar and then stole another from Laura.

"Hey!" she protested and gave him a shove.

Rodney shoved her back. She lost her precarious balance and ended up sat on the floor. She threw her remaining power bar at him, bouncing it off his head. He glared at her and she stared back at him, one hand covering her mouth. For a moment, silence reigned. Then Laura dissolved into laughter. Rodney shook his head in disbelief.

"You are so incredibly childish," he said to her.

"You stole my power bar!"

"What and that's it? Aren't there others in the box?"

"Yes, so why couldn't you go and get one?"

"I liked the look of yours."

"I'm sure you did," she retorted suggestively. Rodney's eyes widened as he got her meaning and coloured, which made her chuckle wickedly. He looked at her, but found his gaze wandering dangerously downwards. For the first time since they'd set off, he was painfully aware that he was off-world in the sole company of a very attractive woman. Attractive and _available_.

Realising that wasn't a particularly safe train of thought, Rodney got up and walked to the mouth of the cave. The suns were rising behind the hill, casting long shadows that stretched from the entrance. The air was dry already, despite the early hour; giving a hint of how unpleasant it'd be outside later on. It was hard to believe there was anything of worth on this desolate planet, but he knew the secret that lay beneath the barren rock could turn the tide of Atlantis' war against the Wraith.

A sense of import settled in Rodney's gut and he shuddered.

Laura saw it. "What?" she asked him.

"You know that feeling you get the night before an exam?"

"Yeah."

"I have that right now."

She got up and dusted off her trousers. She wandered to the mouth and looked out.

"We are teetering on the brink of a great discovery," she remarked.

"Don't be facetious – we could be."

"Who's being facetious? Here I am, in the middle of history being made. I just wish I'd brought my pom poms. Ooh, do you think we'll get a parade? With ticker tape and everything?" She clasped her hands to her chest and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Is that entirely necessary?"

Laura sniffed and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Yes. You bring out the worst in me; I can only contain it for so long and then I just have to."

"You have to."

"Uh huh. Otherwise I'd explode and that'd be messy."

"Remind me again why Sheppard thought you'd be helpful," Rodney said dryly, leaving the cave mouth to start sorting through the boxes.

"I'm the portable encyclopaedia on all things explosive."

He paused and glanced at her. "How did you get into that anyway? You're a... um... girl. No, don't start," he said at the indignant expression on her face. "I didn't mean it like that. But still... I... erm... you..."

"I'm not a girly girl," she explained. "Never had been."

"Oh. So... explosives expert?" She didn't answer him and he looked up to find her staring at the floor, an embarrassed flush on her cheeks. "Cadman?"

"Misspent youth," she mumbled.

Rodney's eyebrows shot up. "_Oh?_"

"Never mind."

"Aw, come on."

"No! I'm not telling you."

"Cadman..."

"Didn't you want to get this stuff unpacked?" she said, turning her attention to another of the boxes.

Rodney smiled faintly, but dropped the subject.


	3. Chapter 3

Setting up the equipment took longer than Laura had imagined it would, mainly due to Rodney's fussiness. He apparently didn't believe that just because the cave was a temporary lab that meant they couldn't have a good level of organisation. But there was organised and then there was obsessive-compulsive.

Lifting out the naquada generator they'd brought to power the electrical equipment, she glanced round for somewhere to put it before deciding on the safest option.

"Where d'you want this?" she asked Rodney. He looked up briefly from working on the MALP, his gaze settling on the generator in her grasp before going back to recalibrating the sensors on the mobile lab.

"Anywhere near the laptop," he replied. "Could you connect that as well? I want to run a few preliminaries, make sure it's getting the readings."

"Sure," she said and put the generator towards the waist-high outcrop of rock that was currently serving as a lab bench. Agreeing with Rodney didn't come naturally to Laura but since they were going to spend – she checked her watch – another thirty eight hours or so together, they were going to have to learn to get on, otherwise they'd probably kill each other.

The hand that settled on her shoulder brought Laura's mind sharply back to attention. She blinked up at Rodney, startled by this sudden contact. He gave her the wry half-smile he was so good at and then shifted his attention to the laptop.

"Looking good," he murmured, looking pleased with himself. "Receiving MALP telemetry and it's getting all directives. I think we're good to go."

"_We're_ good to go?"

"Okay, the _MALP_ is good to go." He leant over her shoulder and hit a key.

Laura twisted on the rock and watched the machine slowly trundle out of the cave. Rodney stood up straight to follow its progress also. He folded his arms and leant against the wall of the cave. She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Don't start resting on your laurels yet, McKay."

"I'm not. It's going to take that thing at least ten minutes to get into sunlight and before it starts relaying anything of interest."

"So what do we do now?"

Rodney pushed himself off the wall. "Dunno about you, but I'm going to find something more substantial than a powerbar."

Laura watched him wander over to the food crate in amusement. In a universe of various threats and changing allegiances, one thing a person could rely on was that Rodney's first concern was for his stomach. Still, it was an idea; the only food she'd had today were the two bars she'd had earlier. She got up and joined him. He'd found a flask of coffee and he poured a cup which he handed to her as she reached him.

"Thanks," she said. They settled into an almost companionable silence and Laura started to think they could actually get to a friendly state. Then Rodney's gaze lit on the screen of the laptop.

"Crap!" he yelled and ran to the computer. He typed rapidly muttering, "No, no, no."

Laura stood still, not really wanting to draw his attention. However after a few more curses and his threatening to take the laptop apart, she had to know. "What's wrong?"

"The MALP's stalled," he told her angrily. "Stupid bag of- There's nothing; it's completely dead." He sat heavily on the outcrop of rock, fuming.

"So?" she said, looking at the cave mouth. "It can't have gotten far."

Rodney looked up at her. "Good point." He got up and started for the opening.

"Where are you going?"

"To fix the MALP," he replied, looking at her as if she were stupid.

"Without a radiation suit?"

"I'll only be five minutes."

She turned to their supplies. "At least take-" She turned back, a pair of the goggles in one hand but he'd already gone. "_Rodney_!"

Hitting the button on her radio she snapped out, "McKay, get your ass back in here stat."

"I'm already at the MALP," his voice came back. "Might as well fix it now."

Laura felt a surge of anger. Of all the stupid, irresponsible things to do; she was going to kill him. Slowly and painfully. She considered putting on a radiation suit and dragging him back, but knowing him he'd be back before she'd had it half on.

As a lack of anything else she sat in front of the laptop. There readings from the sensors outside; when Rodney had said the MALP was dead, he'd neglected to mention the sensors were still working. It was one more thing to be annoyed at him about but as Laura sat there watching the readings flicker up and down, she noticed the top of the range getting gradually higher. A cold ball settled in her stomach.

"McKay?" she said into her radio.

"What now Lieutenant? I'm trying to fix delicate equipment here."

"I've been looking at the data," she told him. "I think you ought to get in. Like now."

"Oh you do, do you? Since when did you have a degree in physics?"

"I don't but I do understand figures and-"

"I'm nearly done. I'll be... oh five minutes tops."

"That's four minutes too late, McKay. Now."

"Don't try to order me, Cadman. You're not in charge in and… oh my God-" The transmission broke off in a scream of pain.

"Rodney!" Laura yelled into her comm. "Rodney!"

There was nothing but static in response.

Feeling utter horror, she saw the readings start to fall back. She stared at the screen, then glanced to the cave opening and back, torn by the need to rescue Rodney and that of preserving herself. Team loyalty won out; the unwritten rule that, no matter what, you didn't leave a man behind. Even if that man was a highly annoying and arrogant scientist who wouldn't be in danger if he'd listened to her.

"Crap," she murmured to herself. "Crap, crap, crap."

Laura hauled on a radiation suit, her fingers fumbling over the fastenings, and then raided the emergency supplies. She grabbed a foil blanket, cursing Rodney's stupidity loudly. Focussing on anger distracted her from the fear she felt; if her understanding of the readings was correct, then she dreaded to think what she would find outside.

The MALP had stalled not more than a few hundred yards from the cave opening. On the ground next to it was the crumpled form of Rodney McKay. Swallowing the sick feeling that the sight gave her, Laura put on the dark goggles and the helmet of the suit and ventured outside.

The heat hit her like a physical blow. The atmosphere still crackled in aftermath of the flare; the air dry and thin. Hairs at the back of Laura's neck and along her arms stood up at the heavy static and her skin tingled. She walked carefully over the rocky ground towards the MALP, fighting the urge to run; she'd be no use at all if she broke an ankle.

"Rodney," she queried, the combination of fear and angry making her voice sharp. He only groaned in response, but at least he was conscious. Throwing the blanket over his head to shield him from further exposure, Laura grabbed his arm.

"Get up. Come on, Rodney."

He moaned in pain. She pulled harder, desperation giving her the strength to get his weight off the ground. He stumbled and she caught him, sliding one arm round his waist. She could feel him trembling as shock began to take hold.

"Come on," she said, her tone softer. "We have to get to the cave."

It was easier said than done. The ground was uneven, the suns blazingly hot and Rodney got more incoherent with pain at each step. By the time they reached the blessed shade and coolness of the cave, he was shaking violently, barely able to stay upright. Laura helped him sit down and then carefully removed the blanket to assess the damage.

Horror flooded her as the silver sheet fluttered to the ground. The skin on his face was red with sunburn and his eyes were swollen shut.

"Oh my God," she murmured. Okay, this was bad. Rodney needed medical attention, but her own knowledge didn't extend much beyond basic first aid and they couldn't get to Atlantis. At least, not until it got dark and that was hours away.

Rising decisively, Laura went to medical kit and she began to root through. The first thing she needed to sort out was pain relief since he was in obvious agony now, his body shaking uncontrollably, his skin white where the effects of the flare hadn't burnt.

Within the medical supplies, Laura found that Doctor Beckett had had the forethought to pack several pre-prepared syringes, labelled carefully as either analgesics or treatment for radiation exposure. She picked up one of them and a strip of cloth that had been placed with them.

Crossing back to Rodney, she knelt at his side and eased the thick jacket from one arm.

"Rodney?" she called softly. "I'm going to give you something for the pain okay?"

He didn't answer her, but she hadn't really expected him to. She tied the strip around his arm and jabbed the syringe into a vein. She heard him grunt, but ignored it to concentrate on pressing the plunger down steadily. She looked at him and realised he was fighting to stay conscious.

"Stay with me, McKay" she said, gripped his hand in an attempt to get a response. His fingers tightened on hers. She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. "You're gonna be okay."

Slipping her fingers out of his grasp, Laura went to the kit again, finding calamine lotion and a cloth. As she picked them up, she noticed her own hands were shaking. She closed her eyes and took a brief moment to calm herself, knowing that Rodney needed her thinking straight. Events could catch up with her later.

The powerful pain relief she'd given Rodney had taken some effect in the short time she'd taken; she noticed he seemed a little more alert, though his breathing was still ragged.

"Rodney?"

"Hmm."

"How do are you doing?"

"Hurts," he moaned faintly.

"I'm not surprised. Here, let me…" She dabbed the liquid onto his burnt skin gently but he winced at her touch, then groaned. "Easy," she advised.

"Should… have… listened," he told her, his voice rough with pain.

"You think?" Laura retorted, enraged at what he'd done to himself. She took a deep breath. "Okay, sorry. That's not going to help."

"Deserved... that."

"Yes, but it'll keep. I can yell at you when you're better."

"Now... Might not-"

"McKay, you know how you should have listened to me?" she asked him. He nodded slightly. "Do that now and shut up, okay? Try to rest."

He opened his mouth before he thought better of it and lapsed into silence. Laura caught his almost defiance and smiled slightly. Then she looked at his eyes again and the smile faltered. She had no idea how to treat them, her scant knowledge leaving her guessing. Eventually she decided to cover them, soaking gauze in cold water and then laying it over the swollen lids. He gasped at the contact.

"Sorry."

"No, that's… better."

"Oh. Well, good. How do you feel now?"

"Fine... considering I've been... barbecued," he replied, his voice wry despite its hoarseness.

His flippancy made Laura shake her head in a mix of amazement and irritation.

"I like my meat a little less well done," she told him sourly.

"Ah. That bad?"

Laura paused, unwilling to lie to him but not wanting to worry him either. "It's not great," she said finally. "I think it's mostly superficial, but I'm no doctor so…"

"I need a second opinion huh?"

"That'll have to wait until it's dark."

"But the days here are forty hours!" he shouted, then dissolved into a fit of coughing.

"Rodney!" Laura exclaimed. She grabbed her pack, pulled out her water canteen and carefully forced some of the liquid down Rodney's throat. He drank it greedily, then flopped onto his back, trying to catch his breath.

"Forty hours is too long," he said eventually.

"We don't have a choice."

"There's always a choice."

"Okay, fine. My choice is to stay here until it gets dark and then drag your sorry ass back to the jumper and let Carson have the pleasure with dealing with you."

"Such bedside manner."

"Oh shut up." Laura drew her knees up to her chest and glared at him. It was rather futile since the bandages meant he couldn't see her dirty look, but she did it anyway. She half wished she hadn't given him the painkillers because now he was lucid he was impossible.

There was a long silence, then Rodney spoke up. "What did the readout give?"

Laura felt herself freeze. Her worst fear was that the flare had been fatally radioactive and the scanning equipment would have recorded the levels. However she had been avoiding checking the laptop, afraid at what she'd see.

"I don't know," she admitted quietly. "I haven't checked."

"Cadman," he said, annoyance in his tone.

"Okay, okay." She got up and went to the the laptop and then accessed the results. "The spike reads at 149 with the UVA reaching 120." She closed her eyes with a very relieved sigh. "Radiation was in acceptable levels as well."

"Well." His voice cracked slightly. "Well, that's good."

"Yeah," she murmured, though her voice lacked conviction. Now the main S8+7danger was over the tension within her was beginning to abate, taking with it the adrenaline that had been fuelling her. It left her feeling cold, trembling, and embarrassingly close to tears.

"Well it is, isn't it?" He sounded uncertain. Realising he'd heard the flatness in her own tone, Laura forced her doubts down.

"Of course," she said brightly.

"But it was a stupid thing to do," he said wryly.

"You'll get no arguments from me on that one," she replied, crossing back over to him. "I mean defying nature. Who did you think you were? King Canut?"

"I was so close to fixing it," he said and she heard the frustration in his voice.

"And you would have done if you'd just taken a moment and put the radiation suit on. You're so impatient."

"I don't like being frustrated by inanimate machinery."

Laura tried not to laugh but it somehow slipped out.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You. I've never know anyone get so wound up by machines. You do realise you can't control every eventuality, don't you?"

"I can try," he replied.

"Some things will always remain beyond your control Rodney. Like solar flares."

He grimaced, which made him take a sharp breath in as the expression caused pain.

"Thanks for that," he said dryly.

"I don't mean to sound..." She sighed. "You know what I mean."

There was a silence as Laura brooded over things she couldn't change. Glancing at his face, she saw from Rodney's dark expression that he was thinking along similar lines. Reaching out, she took his left hand. Miraculously they hadn't been burnt, though how he'd escaped that she hadn't a clue.

"What do we do now?" she asked him. "We can't leave until the sun goes down so sense kinda says that we might as well carry on with the tests."

"I suppose. Tell you what – get this thing off my eyes and I'll see... ah, what I can see."

Laura swallowed, but shifted onto her knees, loosing her fingers from his and carefully unwrapping the bandage from his eyes. The swelling had lessened somewhat, though the skin was still red and puffy around his eyes. He opened them slowly. They were shockingly blue, the flare having forced the pupil to almost nothing, with a grey sheen where the light had blasted the delicate cells in the microsecond before he'd closed the lids.

Coldness flooded Laura as she stared at Rodney's eyes. She knew, knew before the colour drained from his cheeks, before the faint expression of panic crossed his face.

"Which is apparently nothing," he said, his voice hoarse.


	4. Chapter 4

There was a frozen half second before the full realisation of Rodney's analytical observation hit him. Shock gave way to horror, then panic. His eyes were open wide but there was nothing. No shadows, no form, just a solid wall that was blacker than night. It was disorientating, isolating. Suffocating.

Taking deep, gulping breaths he tried to quell the fear within him but succeeded only in coming dangerously close to hyperventilating. The pain and tightness in his sunburnt face was forgotten in the terrifying realisation of his worst nightmares. He couldn't see. He couldn't see. His chest felt tight as claustrophobia took root.

Then hands caught his, a firm grasp that grounded him and he clung on for his sanity.

"It's okay, I'm here. You're not alone." Laura's voice was calm with only a slight underlying tremble. Realising she'd immediately understood the source of his fear, Rodney was suddenly grateful for the time she'd spent living in his head.

"I can't see," he said, hearing the panic in his voice and hating it. "Not a thing."

"I'm sure it's temporary," she replied but by her tone she didn't believe it any more than he did.

"Oh you are, are you?" he snapped, then winced inwardly. Considering the circumstances he was probably best not pissing her off by his trading fear for anger.

"Not really."

The admittance was level and her fingers tightened on his hands. The same fragrance that had distracted his piloting of the puddle jumper wrapped around him and Rodney fought the sudden urge to throw himself into her arms and bawl like a child.

When in doubt, snark.

"Well this is just fabulous," he said sarcastically. "We have a broken-down MALP, I can't see and you haven't a clue."

"Hey, this is not my fault," she snapped back. "You went out there against my express warning so don't you dare belittle my intelligence."

She pulled away and Rodney lost his lifeline. _Lost and alone in the dark_. He clenched his hands into fists and shook his head violently, vainly attempting to clear his vision. Just before panic overwhelmed him, he heard a soft sigh and a hand settled on his arm. The relief at that contact almost floored him.

"It doesn't have to be a failure," Laura told him.

"Well I've got nothing."

"Rodney," she said firmly. "I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but would you please just listen? I do have other abilities than blowing things up. If you can keep your temper and be nice, you could guide me through the programme."

"That'd take forever," he retorted. He hated having to walk newbies through stuff.

"You had something else to do?" The question was archly put.

He snorted. Now that she mentioned it... "I suppose not."

Getting up when he couldn't see quickly became top of the list of things not to do again. His head spun, making him feel light-headed and nauseous, and he wavered before Laura grabbed an arm to steady him. Oddly that just seemed to underline his stupidity and, feeling an overwhelming anger at his helplessness, Rodney shook his arm.

Rather than let go, Laura tightened her grip. "Don't be stupid."

"I really don't need your help."

"You really do."

"How do I know you're not going to lead me into a wall?"

There was a pause before she answered.

"You don't," she said and he knew from the tone of her voice she was amused. He felt her lean in further and then she whispered into his ear, "You have to trust me, Rodney."

And he was just thinking things couldn't get worse "Good God."

To his surprise, Laura laughed at that. A rich, musical laugh that broke through his self-pitying mood as he saw the really twisted comedy of their conversation. It reminded him that no matter how dire things got, there was always some kind of light. Okay he couldn't see it right now, but if she could laugh... Then maybe things weren't that bad.

As he allowed Laura to lead him through the cave, Rodney thought back to the MALP.

"The error is only forward movement," he announced.

"Oh?" she asked, guiding him down until he was sat on what he suspected was the floor.

"Well, all movement," he corrected himself. "But that's beside the point. The MALP was to drill down and then scan. It can still do that, just not in the optimum place."

"There you go. I told you it wasn't a lost cause."

"Explosives expert and a great pep talker."

"Whichever works."

"That was a 'thank you'," he said patiently.

"I know. Mine was a 'You're welcome'."

Rodney tried not to smile, but it impossible not to. She was quick off the mark, he had to give her that. His thanks hadn't solely been for the pep talk but for not going into the whole 'I told you so' crap. And everything she'd done so far from dragging his ass to safety to looking after him.

He owed her big time.

Just as he was thinking this, he felt a hand on his head and then to his utter disbelief, she tousled his hair. What the hell? He knew vaguely where she was and he shot her a glare despite his blinded eyes. She obviously saw it because she chuckled.

"So?" she asked, her voice expectant.

"There's a little button that turns it on," he retorted.

"You didn't burn your arse," she told him lightly. "So I wouldn't feel at all sorry for the kicking it's going to get if you carry on with that."

"Pet me again and I'll kick yours, blind or not."

"But you had this poor little abandoned puppy look - I couldn't help it."

"I did not look anything like a puppy!" Rodney denied furiously.

"Maybe not, but you did look miserable."

"Excuse me, I've been sunburnt and blinded. I think I'm entitled to feel miserable."

"Nah. It makes you look like a poor little abandoned puppy."

Okay now he had to recover his sight if only to kill her.

"Cadman..." he started warningly.

"You were sulking Rodney," she interrupted. "That's not you. This is."

He hadn't been sulking; he'd been thinking, but the confusion he felt was at her reaction to that misinterpretation. "You'd rather me be annoyed at you?"

"Yes, because it's not passive. You can do passive if you want – just go to the back of the cave, curl up and die. I can't do anything else to help you get better. It's up to you now. I can irritate you though if that's what it'll take to keep you fighting."

Rodney thought that over. He'd never been particularly good at reading people but he was pretty sure Laura had meant more than she'd said. He was pretty sure he'd heard concern and confusion changed to slow comprehension.

"I never knew you cared."

"Pfft. I care that Sheppard is going to bust my ass when he sees you. At least getting you back alive will lessen the crap I'm going to get for this whole mess."

"Hmm," he said, unconvinced at her excuse. "As would having something worthwhile to report. Is that programme up and running yet?"

"It's been running the last five minutes."

"Good, good. 'K, it's pretty self-explanatory. The MALP needs to drill down, probably about ten feet or so. I don't want it deeper than under the first layer of rock."

"Okay."

"There's a good reason."

"I'm sure there is."

"You're boring, you know that?"

Laura sighed. "Fine. Blind me with science." There was a pause. "Crap. Sorry."

"Forget it. I'd rather you say stupid things than act like you're treading on eggshells."

"How stupid is stupid?" she asked him and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"That'll do nicely. Now back to the MALP. It's drilling down ten feet because based on the density that's as far as the radiation penetrates. There'll be more ore deeper, but the top level is... the newest, basically."

"And ten feet down is where we'll find the weakest yield."

"Got it in one."

* * *

After a couple of hours working, Laura took a break to administer more pain relief to Rodney. Withdrawing the empty syringe from hiss arm, she counted herself fortunate she hadn't a phobia of needles. She pressed on the entrance point with her thumb and ignored the grumbling from her decidedly impatient patient. Personally she thought she was getting quite good at injecting him, her pride at her increasing ability tempered by the circumstances that forced her improvement.

She stood up and stretched. Hours of sitting on rock made her muscles ache but one look at Rodney's face silenced any complaint. Reaching out she placed her fingers under his chin and tilted his head up to examine the sunburn. He heaved a hard-done-by sigh.

"Give over, Florence," he said. "I'm fine."

"You're a long way from fine," Laura replied. "How sore is that?"

He hesitated. "A little," he admitted then.

"So what's with the act? Normally you're the first person to moan about anything." She knew this was true; Rodney had a tendency to make a lot of fuss over the slightest injury and the fact that there had been no rant, no tirade against whatever forces he deemed responsible to his being blinded was making Laura slightly nervous.

"My not being Sheppard or Ronon doesn't make me pathetic. It's only sunburn; I think I can live with it. It is the least of my current problems."

Regarding him for a moment, she chewed on her lip as she thought over that statement. His words meant more than just the obvious; the comment about his teammates told her that. She wondered whether this went back to things she'd said to him whilst trapped in his head. She'd bet quite heavily on that being the case.

"Rodney if it hurts I can do something about it. You don't get medals for putting up with pain you know."

"I'm fine," he repeated doggedly.

"Okay," she sighed. "Have it your way. I only wanted to help."

His expression immediately turned guilty. "I know. Sorry. I suppose... maybe it would be nice if it didn't hurt so much."

Laura grinned and wished he was always this easy to work round. She grabbed the cream and began to apply it carefully to his face. He sighed again and that, coupled with the pensive expression made her feel a little guilty at her manipulation of him.

"Rodney?" she queried softly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you..." She paused, knowing she was edging into uncertain territory. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly," he replied, turning his head away from her.

"Okay," she said. "Well, if you do..."

"What? Did you take a counselling course alongside the one in explosives?"

Laura sighed at the somewhat predictable reaction. "No, but I can listen Rodney. I am capable of feeling and understanding-"

"You have no idea what I'm feeling so don't even pretend."

"No I don't, but I know that if it were me, I'd be scared stupid. Rodney, trust me. You don't have to do this alone. I promise you that I won't lead you into any walls."

He didn't say anything, but he did turn his head back to her. Laura took a deep breath and gently took his hand, at least half expecting further bluster on how he didn't need her. It didn't happen. Instead he gripped his fingers, closing his eyes and letting out a ragged sigh.

"Thanks. You've been... better than I deserve, really. Personally I don't understand why you're putting up with my crap."

"What, like this is something new?" she retorted lightly.

"Exactly."

"I don't know, I don't think you're that bad."

"Then you're not as bright as I thought you were."

Laura smiled. "I hate to break this to you, but we have been getting on."

"That's scary. Scarier than this is." He pointed at his eyes. "You were right about that."

"Yeah, well it didn't take much to work that out. Plus I know you hate enclosed spaces and that really is as close as it gets."

Rodney looked thoughtful. "I don't know, I'm kind of getting used to that. Maybe it's working like aversion therapy. I'm more worried about the possibility of permanence. I know you're trying to help but the prospect of having to relay my ideas for the rest of my life is a little... disconcerting."

"I can't reassure you on that one," Laura told him quietly. "I really have no idea. Though I have had flash-blindness. That's similar to a degree, I suppose."

"What's that like?"

"Painful. It's part of the training, to see if we can operate without the safety equipment. You never know what situation a tour of duty is gonna throw up so you have to be ready for every eventuality. I'm not sure which is worse, being blinded by the flash or deafened by the explosion. Both are extremely disorientating. Your hearing's reduced like you're under water and your vision's like you're caught in a fog. And on top of all that, you're under fire."

"And you do this for fun?" he asked her incredulously.

Laura chuckled. "Not for fun. Survival training."

"And people wonder why I never joined the military," he said wryly. A curious expression settled on his face. "So how long does it last?"

"Days, sometimes," she told him. "It's usually afterwards that it really hits you. Flash-blindness gives you appalling headaches and nausea."

"I noticed that," he replied. "So you do know what it's like."

"I can draw parallels. It passes, though not everyone recovers completely. It can damage your eyesight. I don't know how a solar flare compares. It's not just light, it's radiation. I could say you'll get better, but I'd be guessing. Hoping, really."

"I don't expect you to have the answers Laura," he said softly. "Whether or not I'll be able to see in a few days or weeks doesn't change the fact I can't see now. I'm not going to find out until we get out of here, so..."

"So you'd rather just get on with something else, I understand."

"You know me too well."

"It's being stuck in your head."

Rodney winced. "Will people please stop reminding me about that?"

"Aww, I'm sorry, " Laura replied sarcastically. "Didn't you enjoy it? I know I did."

He didn't answer her straight away, his uncomfortable expression making her giggle more than she was already.

"Oh yes, because I liked kissing Carson," he retorted in annoyance.

"Well I'm not seeing him anymore so if you wanted I could set you two up."

That made Rodney incoherent for several seconds.

"You do anything of the sort..." he stuttered finally. Laura fell about laughing.

"I wouldn't. Really, I wouldn't. Oh God your face was a picture."

Rodney opened his mouth and shut it again. The indignant look morphed to one of rueful amusement and he shook his head. "You're evil, you know that?"

"It was only a joke," she informed him. "I was trying to make you laugh, not cause heart failure."

"Hmm," he replied. "Whilst we're sort of on the subject... how about Katie? You seemed to know an awful lot about kissing another woman Laura."

"I did mention this misspent youth," she quipped, laughing again as he coloured. "I've seen Gone With The Wind. Katie seems to be the kind of woman that likes big, sweeping romantic gestures. Going on her reaction, I think I guessed right."

"I don't know. If she is, she was in for a disappointment. I'm not the romantic type."

"Oh? I think you're quite poetic actually."

"Shut up. If such rumours start on Atlantis, I'll kill you."

"Don't worry McKay," Laura replied, releasing his hand and going back to the laptop. "Your secret is safe with me."


	5. Chapter 5

Rodney sat on a rock and listened to Laura as she relayed more information. He closed his eyes, squeezing the lids shut before opening them again experimentally. It made no difference, but he wasn't surprised. He was more or less getting used to not being able to see. He didn't like the fact and he'd much prefer it if he could, but he'd stopped panicking about it. Mainly by concentrating on something else.

Which was why he was finding Laura's constant chatter extremely helpful.

The situation was bizarre, especially when he considered how well they'd been getting on since... since he'd come back. Obviously the need to pull together was forcing compromises they wouldn't have bothered with under a less stressful circumstances. Furthermore, not only was she distracting him from the awfulness of his situation, her idea meant they were still managing to fulfil his mission objectives to a respectable degree.

Unable to see his watch, Rodney's sense of time had become defined by Laura injecting him with more pain relief. However he did know they had been at this some time now, even if he wasn't sure exactly how much. Standing up, he waited until the dizziness he routinely experienced had passed. There was a theory that if one lost a sense, then the others compensated. He supposed it must be true to an extent because he could follow the sound of Laura typing on the laptop. Or maybe that was just because he was actually listening for once.

Reaching out and he settled his hand on her - that was an arm, wasn't it? - and the typing stopped immediately. He felt her twist round to face him.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"What time is it?"

"Um... a little after nine, Atlantis time. Why?"

"You've been at that all day. Why don't you take a break? I think we could both do with something to eat."

"But the readings..."

"Laura," he interrupted firmly. "The rock isn't going anywhere."

"I suppose not." She paused. "You look tired, Rodney. You should have said something."

He felt a brief flicker of irritation. "Will you quit worrying about me?"

"I was just trying-"

"When did you last eat?" he interrupted.

"Oh... um... A while ago, I guess."

"Exactly. Quit worrying about me and think about yourself for a change."

"But we were busy. You wanted the readings."

"Laura you must have noticed by now that when I start doing something I tend to focus on that."

"Of course."

"Right." Rodney folded his arms. "So the likelihood of me thinking that you might need five minutes peace is a small one. It's up to you to tell me to shut the hell up and let you get a drink or something to eat or just not bug you for a while, okay?"

He heard Laura chuckle.

"Okay."

"Good girl. Now, let's go eat."

Laura chewed on the whatever-it-was that passed for food - dinner comprising of rations – and thought over the conversation that had led to this break.

She had been surprised at Rodney's concern for her; normally Rodney McKay didn't much care about anyone other than himself and that worry was usually exasperated by injury. However ever since he'd been violently proven wrong about her inability to read figures he'd been a much humbler specimen. His wry self-depreciating humour had given her a glimpse at yet another facet of him and she watched him curiously.

Whilst she disliked rations, Rodney wasn't bothered and he sat on the floor, munching cheerfully. But then he was the only person she knew who actually liked powerbars as well.

"All the technology on Atlantis and we don't have such a thing as a cool box?" she grumbled as she poked at the unappetising mess on her plastic plate.

"I think we do actually," he replied through a mouthful of food.

"Which is why we're eating rations."

"They have everything you need constitutionally." He was trying to be reasonable. Laura rolled her eyes.

"So does dog food, but you wouldn't catch me eating that," she told him firmly. "What I wouldn't give for Chinese right now."

"What? Sweet and sour chicken and barbecued spare ribs?" Rodney asked her with a smirk.

"Oh God," she groaned. Now the rations tasted even worse. "Yeah. Followed by Ben and Jerry's. God I love ice cream."

"What is it with women and ice cream?"

"It's like sex," she informed him seriously. "Only better cos there's no morning-after guilt, no stressing about whether he's gonna phone or not and best of all you can share a tub with your girlfriends."

There was a silence as Rodney processed that. Laura risked a glance up and saw his expression caught somewhere between irritation and amusement.

"Put like that, I understand," he said finally.

"Uh huh. There's a lot to be said for ice cream. Ice cream and chocolate."

"And flowers I suppose?"

"I told you that you were romantic," she teased with a chuckle. However he just sighed and looked glum.

"Katie didn't think so," he said. "She dumped me, you know."

Laura did know, but she was startled that he'd admit it to her.

"Yes," she said quietly. "She came to see me."

"Why did she do that?"

"I don't know." Laura shrugged, forgetting he couldn't see. "Maybe she thought I'd have some great insight into the workings of your mind."

The grimace that crossed Rodney's face at the mere allusion to their time grafted together was completely expected.

"What did she say?"

"That she apparently felt she came second to your work."

"And you said...?" Rodney asked, intrigued.

"Not 'well duh', which is what I was tempted to say," she said, thinking back to the evening the botanist had arrived at her door teary-eyed. She still didn't get how Katie had missed the fact that Rodney's lab was the centre of his universe. "The usual stuff. How men are pigs, etcetera."

"Thanks," Rodney said sarcastically.

"It's what she wanted to hear," Laura said defensively. "And quite frankly, it was the truth. For pity's sake Rodney, the girl fancied you. So why didn't you do anything?"

She watched him put down the tray of food. He brought his knees up and lent his arms on them. The bitter look on his face made Laura feel guilty for having a go at him. She shouldn't be surprised; she knew how bad he was with women.

"I don't know," he confessed quietly. "I thought I did like her. But things were always heavy with her. I got called to a meeting in the middle of a date and she thought I was brushing her off. I guess I got sick of trying to give answers for stuff I wasn't answerable for."

"So you're insensitive and she's over-sensitive. Not a match made in heaven."

"I'm not insensitive," Rodney grumbled.

"Excuse me? Yes you are. You're as insensitive as a blow to the head. You're sarcastic, snarky, incredibly overbearing."

Rodney sank his head down, closing his eyes. "Petty, arrogant and bad with people," he muttered.

"Those as well."

"In that case, she's better off without me."

"And you without her. All she had to say was things she didn't like, to the point I wondered what the hell she'd seen in you in the first place. I meant, talk about a destructive relationship."

"Really?" his head snapped back up, his expression furious. "And you'd know that because your relationship with Carson is so peachy."

"This isn't about me and Carson!" Laura retorted.

"Of course it isn't," he snapped. "You're such a hypocrite Cadman. Stop preaching to me about my choice in women and look after your own affairs."

"I was only telling you what you asked me to tell you!" she shouted, scrambling to her feet in anger.

"Yeah, whatever," he said dismissively. "Come on then, since we're being all Oprah – why did you break up with Carson?"

The challenge hung there. Laura froze and stared at him for a moment, then dropped her gaze to the floor. Her anger ebbed away to guilt and a deep pain in her heart.

"I didn't," she admitted quietly. "He broke up with me."

"Why was that? Were you being insensitive?" Rodney's bitter accusation made her flinch.

"Can't call it much else when I was dating him while liking someone else more, can you?" The bitter reply was out before she could stop it. Laura's hands fisted at her sides at the triumph on Rodney's face.

"Oh ho," he crowed. "Now the truth outs. So who is it?"

She stood there for a moment, just staring at him. The smug expression remained and she knew he hadn't a clue. She shook her head in despair.

"It doesn't matter," she told him in a low voice. She sank back down to sit on the hard ground. "He doesn't give a damn about me. I was stupid to think he ever would."

A painful silence fell. After a while Laura looked up. Rodney's gloating smirk had faded and it looked like he was wondering what to say.

"Sounds like a jerk to me," he remarked eventually. He was so close to the truth of it Laura had to laugh.

"Yeah, he is," she replied earnestly.

"You know what I reckon you should do?" His tone was light and Laura realised he was trying to make amends.

"No. What's that?" she asked curiously.

"You should get a cat. Cats aren't any effort at all."

"I should get a cat?"

"Yep."

"And I clear this with Doctor Weir how?"

"No idea. If you manage it, let me know. I had to leave mine at home."

Laura looked at him. There was faint regret on his face and she filed this little piece of information away as yet another piece of the McKay puzzle.

"That's not fair," she said softly, wanting – needing – a truce between them. "Carson has his mice."

"They're lab mice," Rodney pointed out.

"I don't see a difference. Couldn't you claim it was your one personal item?"

"Well if I did that, everyone else would. And since Elizabeth has a dog... Well can you imagine the chaos?"

"Imagine the mess."

"Oh ugh. No thank you. Okay, better idea; get a teddy bear instead."

Laura grinned. "Now that, Doctor McKay, is a very good idea."

Dinner was finished without further argument. Laura watched Rodney, taking advance of the fact she could and he didn't realise. She hadn't meant to tell him the truth about why Carson had ended their relationship. The fact Rodney hadn't twigged was both a disappointment and a relief; on the one hand he was the reason behind the breakup, on the other Laura wasn't completely sure she was ready to deal with her feelings for him. Half the time she denied feeling anything any way.

The fight had left her unsettled. Yes, they'd argued before but never with such venom. She knew she was irrationally blaming Rodney for her faltering love life, just as she suspected he blamed her. Her actions whilst she'd had control of him came back to haunt her over and over again, and not for the first time Laura wished she hadn't done it.

Looking at him now she felt a conflict of emotions; not a new experience where Rodney was concerned. What she wanted more than anything was to figure out what she was going to do, but that was impossible when every situation they got into quickly descended into danger and every conversation tended to end in argument. She needed normality but doubted she was ever going to find it, that she would always be caught, suspended between attraction and repulsion. The very thought drained her.

"I think we ought to get some sleep," she ventured finally. "I'm tired and you look exhausted."

"I am," he sighed. "I spent most of the night going over the presentation."

God but that felt like a lifetime ago.

"Why doesn't that surprise me? Has there been a night you've slept all the way through?"

"Not many. I prefer working at night, it's quieter. Not as many people coming by to ask me idiotic questions."

The observation made Laura smile. She didn't doubt for a moment that Rodney's every waking moment was spent dealing with some problem or another; his fame at solving problems equalled that he gained for his temper, but unlike those that risked his ire she knew he loved the attention really. But it was time that at least rested, even if they didn't manage sleep so she stood up and went to the crates.

They were prepared for every eventuality, including the need for sleep. She pulled out bed rolls and sleeping bags, then began to set up, feeling like she'd gone back in time and was at Girl Scouts again. She began to hum "Ten Bottles of Beer" softly, something that made Rodney shake his head, his expression plainly telling her he thought she'd gone mad.

"What? Don't you like camp-fire songs?" she asked him.

"We don't have a camp-fire," he pointed out.

"So? Things have been serious all day. I think we need a bit of fun. Know any good ghost stories?"

"What and have you waking up screaming in the middle of the... day?" He frowned at that. "That really sounds wrong."

"We could play Truth Or Dare instead."

"Here's an idea. Let's try sleeping."

"Bore," she retorted. However he was looking even more tired than he had before. Considering the events of the day, she wasn't surprised. "Okay, Pops. Time for bed."

"Pops?" he echoed, his tone irritated. "Excuse me, I'm what? It can't be more than five years older than you."

"I'm not telling. It's rude to ask a lady her age."

"I wasn't asking a lady, I was asking you."

"Hmm, that's funny. Did you want me to drive you home later?"

"Okay, okay. Enough." Rodney stripped off his jacket. "I'm going to go to sleep. You can do whatever you want as long as it's not bugging me."

Laura watched him undo the laces of his trainers in fascination. She had thought he might need help but his ability at doing one thing whilst thinking of something else entirely seemed to mean he could manage perfectly well by himself. Which was actually a little disappointing.

Deciding that wasn't a safe line of thought to pursue, she removed her own jacket and trainers, stripping down to her knickers and T-shirt before clambering into her sleeping bag.

Lying on her back, she stared up at the ceiling of the cave, allowing her body to relax. All of a sudden she felt really tired, no doubt a result of the emotional roller-coaster the day had been. And officially it wasn't even over yet.

"Laura," Rodney said suddenly.

"Hmm."

"This jerk you like. It's not Kavannagh is it?"

She rolled onto her side to stare at him. For a genius there were times he could be a real idiot.

"No," she denied emphatically. "How insane do you think I am?"

"Just thought I'd check."

"I do not fancy Kavannagh. Now shut up and go to sleep."

Closing her eyes, Laura let sleep claim her.

"No!" The yell tore Laura from a dreamless sleep, the terror inherent in it jerking her to a sitting position and fumbling for her gun. A gasping pulled her attention to Rodney; he was awake, his hands knotted on his sleeping bag and his face reflecting utter panic.

She had no idea as to what or why, but she responded automatically to his fear; scrambling out of her sleeping bag and kneeling at his side so she could gather him into her arms.

"It's okay, I'm here," she assured him. "Are you in pain?"

His breathing evened out, but she could feel him shaking still.

"No," he said after a moment. "Bad dream."

"They can't hurt you," she said.

"I... I was burning," he said quietly and shuddered.

"God," she murmured in sympathy. She held him tighter. "You're okay."

"Then I woke and I couldn't see." He said it matter-of-factly but Laura couldn't imagine how frightening that must have been. She closed her eyes at the pain his terror caused her.

"Oh, Rodney," she murmured, her voice catching. She ran her fingers through his short brown hair, then ran a hand up and down his back as she rested her cheek against his head. "It was the flare," she reminded him.

"I know. Now. It just all got jumbled up until I couldn't remember what was real or not."

"I'm real. I'm here and you're safe." It was the all she had but she held it out for him. A faint smile touched Rodney's lips and then he gave a sigh and relaxed into her embrace. Laura remained as she was, holding him until his breathing slowed and he became heavy in her arms. She moved him carefully so as not to waken him.

Even once she'd laid him down, she stayed sat at his side, still stroking his hair. Her feelings for him returned with a vengeance and whether the situation had all gotten too much or whether she was too tired to fight she didn't know, but she gave in and finally acknowledged them.

Looking at her bed, Laura decided it was too far and crawled over to it before dragging the whole thing over and arranging it next to Rodney's. She got back into her sleeping bag, leaving it zipped to about halfway. Her legs were covered but it left her arms free. Lying by his side, she wound an arm around him, reasoning that this way, if he woke again, she'd be there immediately to comfort him. It wasn't that she was enjoying the proximity. Not at all.

She looked at his sleeping face. The sunburn wasn't quite as fierce now and he was being to look more like his normal self, except that he was peaceful and not tearing around like a mad thing. She smiled and lent close enough to brush her lips against his forehead.

"Jerk," she murmured tenderly then snuggled closer.


	6. Chapter 6

Rodney woke to a very unpleasant headache and a gritty sensation behind his eyes. In trying to lift his hand to rub them, he found his arm was pinned under the warm weight of Laura nestled at his side. As the fog of sleep cleared from his mind, he realised she was draped at least halfway over him; her head against his shoulder and an arm looped over his stomach.

It was an invasion of his personal space but the outrage he knew he should feel just wasn't happening. Rather, he found he quite liked waking up like this; to her body lying next to his, to the warmth and comfort she imparted. He lifted his other arm, trailing his fingers through the silken hair that splayed across his chest. Catching the fragrance of it brought a plethora of memories to the surface of his mind, the sharpest of them was of her leaning over him as he flew the jumper.

He could recall her touch on his wrist, the pressure of her abdomen against his back, the glow of the HUD reflected on her excited face, the way she'd smiled at him. The amount of detail he'd taken in and remembered shocked Rodney. He was even more shocked at the ache that spread hollowly through his body at the thought of not seeing her face again and he clutched her tightly to him, waking her up in doing so.

"Rodney?" she asked sleepily. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he choked, releasing his grasp and shifting uncomfortably.

"Another dream?"

"Something like that, yes."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I'm okay." Rodney had no intention of telling her what the real problem was, of revealing himself to be a total idiot.

"Sure?"

"Cadman, I'm fine," he insisted, sitting up as if to prove that. He heard her sigh though she didn't say anything. Opening his eyes, he found that the solid wall of black wasn't quite as solid but rather sort of resembled a fog at night. "Hey, my eyesight's better."

"Really?" She sounded partly amazed and partly wary, as if she didn't quite believe him. Rodney waved a hand.

"Not _better_ better," he amended, "but a bit. I can see a foggy blur rather than nothing."

"Oh. Well, that has to be a good sign."

"I was just thinking that, though I'm not going to get too excited. This is probably going to take a while."

A hand rested on top of his. "You'll get there," she said softly.

He turned his hand over, catching her fingers in his and she squeezed them reassuringly. For the second time since he'd woken Rodney found himself awash in emotions he thought he'd put firmly behind him. To make matters worse, Laura seemed to understand and he'd rather she didn't, if he was utterly honest. He wasn't prepared to deal with this.

"I don't suppose there's any coffee left is there?" he asked, the first thing unconnected to Laura he could think of. Her reaction was reassuringly predictable.

"I'm not your slave, McKay. Don't push it."

"I was only asking."

She sighed and he could almost see the exasperated look on her face.

"You know it rots your brain?" she said then.

"It does no such thing. I can't possibly do anything until I've had at least one cup."

"You're addicted," she told him. "Okay, okay. I'll go get your precious coffee."

"Thanks."

The touch on his hand went and he heard her stand up. He could follow her footsteps even if he couldn't see her. It unsettled him how willing he was to settle for that little. Reining in those decidedly unhelpful thoughts, he turned his mind to the hundred-and-one things he wanted to do before they got off this hell-hole.

"How long until sundown?" he asked her as he felt a warm cup placed into his hands.

"About twenty one hours."

"Nearly two days. God."

"It's a long time," Laura acknowledged. "You must be anxious to get back."

"I want to be off this rock," he remarked dryly.

"Can we not go back to Atlantis though?" she asked, her tone plaintive. "I'm going to be on mess duty for a year when Sheppard sees what I did to you."

Rodney grinned. "Where did you wanna go?"

"I don't know. Somewhere with beaches and bars and no Wraith."

"Back to Earth?"

"Wherever," she answered and he was pretty sure he heard her shrug.

"You might get your wish; Sheppard might be so pissed at you he boots your ass all the way to Earth."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she said sourly. "I don't particularly want to go back."

That intrigued him. "Why not?"

She didn't answer that but he was aware of her sitting next to him with a sigh.

"Cadman?"

"Hello."

"Isn't Earth home, at least for you?"

"I don't know any more. I miss my folks sure, but after a couple of weeks, I get bored. I like being on Atlantis, I like the challenge."

"What with the running from Wraith, the sleepless nights, the getting stuck in my head?"

"Exactly," she chuckled. "No such thing as an ordinary day."

"You're weird."

She chuckled again and he decided he liked the sound.

"Thanks," she said. "But isn't there a single beach in the entire Pegasus galaxy?"

"You know, I've not checked the Ancient database for Wraith-free beaches."

"You should do. We could sit on the sand and toast marshmellows and sing songs."

"Sing?" Rodney echoed. "I don't do singing."

"Everyone does singing after a few bottles," Laura pointed out with a giggle. He conceded that point and immediately remembered something she'd mentioned once.

"Tell you what," he said. "I promise to sing if you promise to tap dance."

Laura laughed. "Okay," she replied easily. "You have yourself a deal."

Rodney hadn't thought she would have agreed so easily and grinned at the very idea. Then he sighed, knowing full well what they'd just promised would never come to pass. Even if their free-time happened to coincide, once they'd been back a while and he was getting better, her promise would be forgotten along with her guilt. She'd find a guy who wasn't him and he would... he would... He didn't know; continue with his solitary existence he supposed.

"Yeah," he said flatly.

"Rodney?"

"It's a nice fantasy Cadman," he said, "but I don't think there is such a thing as a Wraith-free beach. Even if there was, you don't want to spend time with me."

"Oh I don't?" Her tone was catty.

"You had to be forced into this mission."

"No, I agreed to come. It was you that had to be forced to take me."

"That's... right," Rodney said wanly, unable to think of a better retort.

"I know a beach," Laura said then.

"You... you do?"

"Uh huh. There's one on the west coast of the mainland and okay so there's a threat of Wraith but jumpers have cloaks and we wouldn't be that far from the safety of home."

"God," Rodney mumbled. "You're serious."

"Yep."

"Alright Laura, you win. If and when I get my sight back, it's a... um... thing."

"Date?" she queried, amused.

"If you like," he said faintly.

"I like," she said firmly. "So we have twenty hours to fill – what we gonna do?"

Rodney could think of a few things, all involving Laura but none of them scientific.

"Let's start with what I suppose is breakfast," he said, "then I want to go over yesterday's figures."

After 'breakfast', they went back to the laptop. Laura settled down, more than used to the long process of Rodney telling her what to do and her doing it and then relating the appropriate information to him. The hours left hung over her. She was tired and dirty and there was still an underlying tension inside. Because every time she looked at Rodney she saw the burnt and the unfocused eyes. She supposed she felt guilty, though she knew there was no real call for it. There was something else as well, something she refused to examine.

Sighing silently, she turned on the laptop and watched the figures reel out. She'd more or less got the hang of the program now; it was logically set out and therefore simple to use whilst still performing advanced calculations. It was one more indication of Rodney's talent.

However his ability in mental calculation led to a rather unpleasant realisation. As she read out the readings, she sensed him stiffen and she turned to look at him. His expression was bleak.

"What?" she asked.

"The readings are exactly the same as yesterday's."

Laura looked at them and after a moment she recognised the same pattern as he obviously had. She ran a hand through her hair.

"Meaning what exactly?"

"There's no point in getting the same readings Laura," he replied sourly, his tone irritated.

"So we drill deeper." The answer seemed obvious to her.

"For older rock?" he said sarcastically and she frowned. "No, if the upper layer doesn't have enough yield, the lower ones certainly won't."

"Maybe it improves with age. Like wine." She winced at the expression that crossed his face. Okay so she was grasping at straws here but still...

"What? Cadman-"

"I know," she said quickly. "I wasn't actually being serious. Look, the reading are only the same where the MALP is now."

"But the MALP can't move."

"It could if I fixed it."

There was a moment's silence, then Rodney's face filled with horror.

"You are not going out there," he snapped. Laura felt herself bristle at his tone.

"I beg your pardon? Since when did you give me orders McKay?"

"You... You can't," he stuttered. "For God's sake Laura look at me! It's way too dangerous."

"Yes, well unlike you, I'd go out fully prepared," she said, though she didn't feel particularly proud of herself when he flinched and his head went down.

"No. What if something went wrong? What could I do?"

Laura caught the tension in his voice and she paused as she tried to figure out what he really meant.

"Are you worried about me Rodney?" she asked.

"Isn't that what I said?"

"Not exactly." She sighed. "I'll be fine-"

"That's what I thought."

"-And if I don't then this mission is gonna be a write-off."

"Laura..." His voice was strained and his distress pulled at her. Laura felt her eyes fill with tears as her feeling welled up despite her every effort to push them down. For once she was glad he couldn't see her, couldn't see the emotion she knew was clearly written on her face.

"I have to do this Rodney," she said firmly, not letting the turmoil she was feeling colour her voice. "I have to salvage something out of this whole mess."

"Why?"

"Because I'm utterly honest I feel a little guilty."

"This is my fault. I went out there."

"And I know you and I should have seen that coming. I did, partially but..."

"Don't blame yourself."

"You can't see what I can."

"Oh please," he scoffed, his voice dripping with disdain. "I do not need your pity."

"You're being like that doesn't change my going out to fix the MALP," she said decisively, standing up and moving past him. He grabbed her arm, startling her utterly because she had no idea how he'd managed that.

"Cadman," he growled. Somehow she knew that his anger was a pretence and a wave of deep affection swamped her, evoking a need she didn't stop to question and she bent down and kissed him, once and ever so gently on the lips. The bewildered look on his face was priceless and she smiled.

"I'll be back," she promised softly.


	7. Chapter 7

"Laura!" Rodney snapped into his radio. There was no response, not even static. He swore as he realised she'd switched hers off. She'd threatened to do so the last time he'd contacted her, roughly two minutes ago, after getting irritated by his constant nagging.

Damn the woman, he thought as he paced the small area of the cave he knew well enough not to fall over anything. He felt utterly frustrated at not knowing what she was doing; she been gone much longer than he thought she should have been, though there was a little voice in his head that pointed out she might not have been if she hadn't had to keep stopping to answer his comms.

"You're an idiot, Cadman," he announced aloud. "You better not be thinking of leaving me here."

He was nervous, almost afraid, but he wouldn't admit that. He'd already been more pathetic than he liked in regard to her going out into certain danger, though he was less hard on his first reaction to her idiotic idea of fixing the MALP when he recalled her response to it.

The memory of the kiss; the recollection of her soft, warm lips touching his for the briefest moment made him sigh and stop pacing. He still had no idea why she'd done that. If she'd intended to throw him into confusion and therefore win the argument, she'd certainly succeeded – her kissing him had been the very last thing he'd had expected.

Using his hands to guide him – and feeling more than a little stupid – Rodney found somewhere to sit, sinking onto a rock, his thoughts on Laura and not in a professional way.

She drove him crazy; just when he thought he had her figured out she'd go and do something to confuse him again. Like comfort him after a nightmare. It was the thing mothers were meant to do for their child and he might have found it a little creepy if it wasn't a experience he'd not had. No one had ever chased away his fears with soft words and a gentle touch before; a scientist should be beyond formless terrors, a man shouldn't be afraid of the dark.

But there'd been no ridicule from Laura, only understanding. He was used to dealing with such things on his own, but she wasn't letting him, instead she was willing - wanting - him to share with her stuff he barely wished to acknowledge to himself.

There was something he'd not shared yet and that was his feelings towards her. He was even more confused about those than he was about her and that was saying something. She was impossible; unimpressed by his intelligence, amused by his cutting remarks, nonplussed by the sarcasm he dished out to her. She was an utter contradiction – strong-willed but soft-hearted, tough but feminine. She creeped him out and attracted him at the same time and if he could have but one moment over it would be that damned kiss and this time he'd give as good as he got.

Rodney had to admit that Laura Cadman had gotten to him. She'd got stuck in his head, turned his life upside down, disrupted the order of his mind and turned logical thought into confused emotions, something he'd sworn nobody would ever do. He dropped his face into his hands, pressing the heels against his eyes, and groaned.

"What's the matter with you?" Laura's voice made him jump; he'd not heard her come back.

"Where the hell have you been?" he snapped, relieved, annoyed and angry all at once.

"I went to fix the MALP," she reminded him, sounding unconcerned.

"You turned off your radio."

"I told you I would if you didn't stop bugging me McKay," she said. "It was difficult enough in those conditions without having to give you a running commentary as well."

"Are you okay?" he demanded to know.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine," she said impatiently. "MALP's fixed and good to go."

"I don't care about the damn MALP. It's you I-" Rodney heard what he was saying and stopped, unwilling to voice the depths of his concern.

"You what?" Laura asked him. Her voice soft and he heard her step towards him. Even though she'd given him no reason to doubt her, he still felt his usual reticence. He dropped his head as he felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"It's just a machine," he mumbled in explanation. "Hardware, replaceable. You're not."

Gentle fingers combed through his hair, her touch evoking a storm of conflicting emotions within him. She brushed his cheek before applying the slightest pressure under his chin. He sighed and allowed her to tilt his head up. She was nothing more than blur, a dark ghost in a grey fog, and he felt a hopeless anger at his blindness.

"Why can't you just say what you really mean?" she asked and she sounded a little annoyed.

Rodney thought about that. Her hand was still resting on his cheek but it no longer felt like the touches of assurance she'd been giving him. It felt like something else, something... more. He wasn't completely sure, but didn't her care of him so far deserve a little honesty anyway?

"You scared me half to death," he told her in a low voice.

"I'm sorry," she apologised. "But it needed to be done."

He stood up then, feeling a wash of annoyance and frustration.

"No," he said. "No it didn't. If anything had happened to you..." he trailed off.

"What?" she asked.

Rodney was busy remembering getting caught in the flare but imaging it being Laura blinded by searing light, her skin burnt by blistering heat. The thought made him feel sick. He turned to the source of her voice and focused on the black silhouette his damaged eyes saw. Closing the distance, he reached out and, after a slight fumble, placed his hand against her cheek.

"Rodney?" she asked and her voice quavered noticeably. He smiled faintly and caressed her cheek, sliding his hand back to trail his fingers through the silken hair. Her breathing quickened, which partly surprised him. A deeper part wasn't surprised at all and he decided to go with that part.

Stroking her cheek again, Rodney allowed his touch to wander and brushed his thumb over lips that trembled slightly as he did so. Laura's kiss had been light and brief; he claimed her mouth with one that was tentative but lingering. She gave a soft gasp and then wound an arm round his neck and pulled him closer.

Sliding his hand back into her hair, Rodney kissed Laura harder, teasing at her lips until she parted them, a shudder running through her. He wrapped his other arm around her waist as the connection between them that he'd long denied broke over him in a warm rush of desire. And the weirdest thing was, she responded; her tongue battling with his as the clinch became passionate.

The need to breathe ended the kiss and they stood there, panting hard, Laura's arms looped loosely around Rodney's neck, his hands on her hips.

Laura could feel the heat of a blush on her face; it was reflected on Rodney's and his expression was faintly bewildered.

"Whoa," he mumbled finally, his usual eloquence lost.

"I was just thinking that," she said with a chuckle. "You kissed me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm hoping you're not expecting an apology cos I'm really not sorry."

"Did you not notice me kissing you back?" she ashed archly.

"I had." He paused. "Wait a minute, what happened to this jerk you fancied?"

"You're very slow on the uptake today Rodney."

He blinked. "Me?" he asked incredulously. "You meant me?"

"So you really are a genus, huh?"

Rodney looked utterly taken aback. He struggled for words for several seconds and Laura smiled at his flailing.

"Why?" he managed eventually.

"Honestly? I have no idea. Though I must say as first impressions go, you certain made an impact."

He thought about that. She watched the wry smile darken to something else and wondered what conclusion he'd come to.

"Carson... ended your relationship. Does he know who'd... distracted you?"

Laura sighed. "Yes," she replied simply. "I think most people that know us suspected there was something. Colonel Sheppard certainly does – why d'you think he kept pushing us together?"

"Then that's why he suggested you for this mission?" He pulled away from her and Laura let him go. She knew the anger currently clouding his expression was aimed at Sheppard and not her and understood his fury at being manipulated.

"Well I suppose my training was the main point, but knowing that I was, that I am, attracted certainly figured, I guess."

"What is it about me that people feel the need to interfere in my love life?" he stormed.

"Possibly that you haven't got one," she replied.

"Yeah well, if memory serves me correctly, our mission to Atlantis and the Pegasus Galaxy was to find technology to defeat the Goa'uld and to contact the Ancients, not to hook up with every available individual we come across. Anyway, I think Sheppard's filling any possible quota, what with hitting on every Ancient woman he meets."

"That doesn't mean we can't have a life, Rodney. Unless, of course, you're not interested in me."

Rodney snorted a laugh. "I'm blind, not stupid," he retorted. "Though I'm not as sure you're not. Or maybe you got too much sun."

"It's possible," she conceded and then laughed at the put out expression on his face. "Now I did ask you a question cos you were saying-"

"I know, I remember," he said. "I thought that might be the easiest way to answer."

Laura smiled slowly and walked over to him, sliding her arms around him again. He sighed and hugged her back and for some time she just stood in his embrace, her forehead rested against his chest, adjusting to the change in their relationship.

"I didn't think we did things the easy way," she remarked depreciatingly.

"Not normally, no. I thought I'd go for a change of pace."

"It was a good idea."

"I have them on occasion."

Laura laughed and extracted herself from Rodney's embrace, taking his hand and heading to the laptop. She knew how easily things between them could move too quickly, given Rodney's predilection for going at ten to the dozen and the artificial situation they were in, and she decided a little grounding in reality wouldn't go amiss. Plus she had just spend over an hour fixing the MALP and she didn't want that to have been a waste of time.

They fell back into routine quickly. Rodney's instructions were no less pointed for the kiss they'd shared and Laura had barely started the program that directed the MALP when the constant back-and-forth degenerated into a tiff. It was an indication of the spark between them and looking back, Laura saw the arguments they'd had ever since they'd met in a different light, and how inevitable a relationship had been.

Watching the depth gauge on the laptop screen, she pondered fate and destiny. She didn't have that much faith in fate, considering herself to master (well, mistress) of her own destiny, but she did believe certain things happened for a reason. The need to have some higher power in control of some thing was never greater than when in a combat or other dangerous situation. Like being scooped up by a Dart and ending up with her consciousness in somebody else.

Rodney's hand settling on her shoulder brought Laura swiftly out of her reflections. The contact, as light and simple as it was, caused her heart rate to jump. She rolled her eyes as her own reaction, thankful he couldn't see the immediate flush on her cheeks. God, she was acting like a schoolgirl. She really had to get a grip.

"How we doing?" he asked.

"Coming up to six feet," she reported dutifully. "Drill temperature's a little high but still within acceptable figures. And..." She glanced at the atmospheric readings. "Oh. Substantial increase in UV levels. Now that I've seen before."

"Another flare on its way?"

"Yeah, certainly looks like it. That's much sooner than I would have thought. Maybe it's burning itself out."

"Suns don't tend to do that," Rodney pointed out. "Usually they explode. Or implode. Neither of which I'd like to see – experience close up."

"Unless..." Laura chewed her bottom lip and pressed a few buttons on the keypad, bringing up the original data on the system.

"Unless what?"

"Unless it's not a sun. Hear me out," she added as he opened his mouth. "Now I know before you point it out that my knowledge of binary suns is limited, but surely if it were a true binary system, the suns would be central?"

"Well yes and they are."

"I'm not so sure. The fact is that the second one rose much later than the first. Maybe it's not a sun, but a satellite."

"Orbiting what?

"Orbiting the sun. If it were a gas planet its proximity would mean it would burn, effectively becoming a second sun."

Rodney sat down, thinking hard. "The Ancient database..."

"Is a rough sketch – it's about location, not details. None of the planets in this system are capable of sustaining life, the only interest is what the radiation is doing to the rock of this one."

"So you think they came here on what? The same kind of mission we have, saw the two big lights in the sky and assumed a binary system?"

"Maybe."

"That's crazy. They wouldn't-" he stopped. "Well, maybe they would. But... Do you realise of that's right, that solves a fair few problems?"

"Well it takes away the possibility of the damn thing exploding any time soon," Laura said. "I'll just take that, thanks."

"No, you don't understand, he said, getting up and pacing. "If it is a planet and it is just burning... well eventually whatever's burning will be used up."

"At which point it'll go out?"

"At which point it'll go out. End of flares, end of radiation. Except what's left within the rock here."

"Which is still lethal in large doses."

"Well, yes, but there is such a thing is radiation shielding."

Laura stared at Rodney and chewed her lip again. "So if it goes out and the rock does have explosive qualities... we should be able to mine it which less than half the problems we'd face currently."

"Exactly," Rodney replied, folding his arms and looking smug.


	8. Chapter 8

The excitement from their theoretic discovery dissipated after a couple of hours, leaving Laura at least feeling decidedly flat. She was hot and dusty and tired, bored of the routine of relaying the information from the MALP to Rodney, and quite frankly just wanted the whole mission over. Despite her nervousness over what Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir might say about how the mission had gone and how much trouble she was going to get into, she wanted to be back on Atlantis.

Atlantis was cool and clean and had a well stocked infirmary, because more than anything she wanted to hand over the responsibility of caring for Rodney to someone who was actually qualified to do so.

Laura shoved the laptop away from her. "I need a drink," she announced.

"Yeah, same here," Rodney replied. "And something to eat. That would be good too."

"I suppose," she said. She didn't feel particularly hungry. Rodney frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"I suppose."

"Laura? What's the matter?"

"I don't know," she told him quietly. "Just... I don't want to be here any more."

Rodney stood up and held his arms out. She smiled, though she paused a brief moment before giving in and moving into his embrace.

"Going off me already?" he enquired, obviously picking up on the hesitation.

"Don't be stupid. I'm just a little reluctant to pander to misery."

"You're feeling miserable? That's not exactly a vote of confidence."

"Not miserable, just... down, I guess. Fed up. Bored. I don't like being enclosed all that much. I'm not mentally capable of saying idle for long periods."

"Come on," he murmured. "You need something to eat and a drink."

"Yeah, preferably something alcoholic but I bet we can't manage that one."

"The only alcohol we have is in the med kit and it doesn't come highly recommended. Or recommended at all, for that matter."

"Pity. And we don't even have decent food."

"I'll take you to dinner when we get back," he promised her, making her smile and snuggle against his chest.

"Really? I thought you didn't do romantic?"

"I guess I can make an exception for you."

The break for food was only meant to be for a few minutes but as they talked, the minutes became an hour and then two. Laura told Rodney more about why she specialised in explosive technology and in return he told her a little of his unpleasant upbringing. For Laura, it was a steep learning curve in understanding why Rodney was the way he was, and she found herself flinching often during his sketch of his childhood.

"You're not worthless," she told him emphatically after he'd related one particular story. She was sat next to him and she wound an arm round his waist and rested her head against his upper arm. "How can anyone tell a child that?"

"Ask my father," he replied. "He seemed to have no difficulty in doing so."

"He didn't deserve you. Didn't deserve to have kids full stop."

"I think he'd rather he hadn't had. We were nothing but a burden."

"We?"

"I have a sister. Jeannie."

"I had no idea."

"We had a falling out several years ago. Long before I found out about aliens and wormholes and so on and so forth."

"I have an older sister," Laura said. "We fall out all the time. Over men, usually. Siblings fight; it's one of those things, I guess."

"Maybe. If I had the chance, I would like to make things up with her, you know? Since coming here I've learnt what being a family should mean. Which probably sounds very odd coming out of my mouth."

"To some people it would. I know you better, though."

"Hmm," Rodney said, pulling her closer. "Mention the head thing again and I might have to shoot you."

"Well it did help..." she teased, and laughed at the expression on his face.

"It helped you," he said sourly. "All it did for me was confuse me. All those female emotions." He shuddered dramatically.

"Put you in touch with your feminine side, didn't it?"

"I don't have a feminine side."

"You have me."

Rodney smirked. "You'll do."

"Oh thank you."

They fell into a companionable silence. It amazed Laura that they could do this and that it felt comfortable; she felt no compulsion to fill the silence with meaningless chatter and Rodney obviously didn't either.

The only problem with sitting quietly was that after a while, she began to feel sleepy. She'd spent much of the rest time keeping an eye on him, wanting to be awake in case in had another nightmare. She yawned.

"Are you tired or am I boring you?" he asked her.

"I'm tired. It's so warm and I kinda had a broken... um, sleep."

"Sorry 'bout that."

"It's okay."

Rodney rested his chin on the top of her head. "Get some sleep now if you're tired. It's not like we're actually doing anything."

"Hmm. What about the MALP?"

"Can't be arsed right now," he said frankly.

However now she'd mentioned the MALP, a dozen other thoughts sprang to Laura's mind.

"What are we going to do about it?"

"About what?"

"The MALP. Well, everything really. It took us ages to unpack and... well by myself... So what? Are we leaving everything behind?"

"God, I'd not thought about that," Rodney said. He ran a hand through his hair. "Elizabeth'd kill us if we leave everything. And I need to take the laptop. We could use the MALP as a donkey, use it to transport as much as the more expensive stuff back to the jumper."

"Oh, good plan," she replied and settled back against him, satisfied at that idea.

"So now that's sorted, why don't you go to sleep?"

"Means I have to move and I'm comfortable."

Rodney chuckled. "I'm sure you are, but you're not going to sleep on me."

Laura sighed and stood up. She went to the rather messy pile she'd left the sleeping bags in and straightened them out. She glanced over her shoulder at him.

"So I go to sleep and you do what?"

"I'll join you, I think. My head's feeling a little fuzzy."

"Dizzy?"

"Not right now, but I suspect it won't be long if I don't rest."

Going back to him, she took his hand and he stood up. Laura led him to the sleeping bags and, after kicking off their shoes, then clambering in and snuggled together. They were both tired, exhausted by the constant mental strain, and they fell asleep fairly quickly.

Rodney woke a few hours later, startled by a noise, though when awareness seeped into his consciousness, he wasn't sure if it had been real or imagined. He shrugged it off as unimportant either way and stretched. Once again, his movements were hampered by Laura, lying in more or less the same position. Waking up to her wrapped around him was something Rodney decided he could easily get used to.

Opening his eyes, he found his sight had improved a little more for the rest; the grey fog had lightened to white and he could make out shapes, though they remained blurry. Coupled with the budding relationship he was finding himself in, Rodney felt ridiculously good. It had been such a long time the emotion felt slightly alien and he couldn't help the dark, pessimistic thought at the back of his mind that wondered at which point it'd all fall apart.

He turned his head to look at Laura. Colours still alluded him but he could see her better. He could tell by her breathing she was still asleep and he stroked the silken hair. He had no idea why she'd chosen him of all people, especially given she'd parted company from Carson in his favour, but he wasn't going to question her decision. Laura stirred then and he smiled as she lifted her head.

"Hello," she said, her tone indicating she'd noticed his improved focus.

"Hey. I think I should lie down more, it seems to help my situation."

"Can you see then?"

"Not yet, no. But it's not a light fog and I can discern between objects. Everything's still fuzzy though."

"Well it's certainly looking hopeful for a full recovery," she replied and kissed his cheek.

Rodney tightened his hold on her and turned his face, searching for his lips with his own. He felt her smile against his cheek and give a soft sigh before kissing him properly.

It was slow and explorative but it still sent an electric shiver down his spine. Laura moulded against him, her response igniting a need Rodney had long ignored. Relationships were messy things and he hadn't had the time; there were so many other things to do and really the only person he'd thought he'd wanted hadn't been interested.

However as his tongue swept into Laura's mouth, Rodney realised he'd been ignoring something right in front of him. It was very typically him and sometimes he amazed himself with his lack of understanding. Laura's breathing was rapid and her hands swept up his back to tangle in his hair and even he could read body language like that.

Yet when he opened his eyes she was still a vague blur. His growing desire dampened and he pulled back, panting, a hollow bitterness spreading through him.

"Okay, bad idea."

"No, it's not." Her voice held a note of complaint.

"Yes it is."

Rodney rolled onto his back, feeling frustrated and angry at himself.

"Oh," Laura said in a small voice and he jerked back round.

"Don't," he said, his voice desperate. "It's not... God, I can't tell you how much I'd love to... But... Look, isn't this moving too fast?"

"So what if it is?" she challenged. "I don't care and I don't think you do either. So what's this really about?"

Rodney smiled faintly at her tone; the momentary disappointment had obviously passed and her normal stubbornness was back in force. The question had been put bluntly, as she always was when she thought he was being an idiot. That and the fact she was Laura deserved nothing less than the truth.

"Honestly? I can't... be with you like that," he told her gently before explaining quickly, "Not yet anyway. I want you Laura, but not like this." He waved a hand at his face.

"Ooh," she said, understanding in her tone. "I get it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Good cos I really don't want to... do that blind."

Laura chuckled softly and he felt her snuggle against him. He placed a chaste kiss on top of her head.

"Rodney, you're really ruining all my perceptions of you today," she told him in an amused voice.

He frowned at that. "How do you mean?"

"Well, I'm just wondering what happened to the arrogant, heartless, snarky man I met a few months ago. That was you wasn't it – you don't have a secret twin brother or something?"

"I am arrogant and snarky," he said, making his tone haughty. "I'm just feeling sorry for myself and after sympathy."

"I'm not kissing you cos I feel sorry for you McKay," she retorted and he grinned at the firmness of that statement.

"You just want me for my mind," he said and she giggled.

"Oh yes," she replied and he felt her smooth a hand over his chest, sparking the desire that simmered. "Sorry Rodney, but I'm not all that impressed about how many certificates you have pinned to your bedroom wall."

"So what do you want?" he asked, knowing that his confusion was clear.

"You," she said as if it were obvious. "Nothing more, nothing less."

"Why?"

"Because you aren't as bad as you pretend to be or as you think you are," she said with a sigh. "Because you have hidden depths that intrigue me, because you're a challenge. And because you are actually really rather hot."

Rodney turned and stared at her. It didn't matter that he couldn't make out the details, her determination seemed to shine through the fog. He didn't understand now any more than he had before she answered his question quite so... frankly. He did, however, completely believe her.

"You're amazing," he said quietly. She laughed and kissed him briefly.

"On that, Doctor McKay, we definitely agree.

Some time later, and they decided that they really ought to do something more than lie in each other's arms doing nothing but talking. Laura disentangled herself from Rodney's embrace and began to pack up the things they no longer needed. There were only a few hours left before the suns had sunk far enough for them to venture outside and Laura wanted to make sure they could go as soon as it was safe to do so.

Rodney's lack of vision meant he wasn't able to help out much, something he complained loudly about. Laura doubted he was as bothered as he pretended to be, but she didn't mind. She was used to him avoiding hard work like the plague.

Laura took the final reading from the laptop and used it to direct the MALP back into the cave. She loaded it up and programmed a route to the jumper. Sending it on its way, Laura sat back and stared at the roof of the cave.

It wouldn't be long before they were home now and she felt a confusion at the prospect of going back. She ached to be in familiar surroundings but she was afraid of what would happen. Though this mission had been a voluntary decision, her actions would still be accountable. Sheppard was going to yell at her for allowing Rodney to injure himself, but it wasn't that she was afraid of.

The worst thing she could imagine, the one thing that turned her stomach cold, was that if Sheppard was really pissed off, he'd terminate her tour of Atlantis and send her back to Earth. She didn't want that. Her gaze slid down to where Rodney was sitting.

No, she really didn't want to go to Earth; not when her life was just getting interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

Rodney tried to engage Laura in conversation a couple of times during the flight back to Atlantis, but she couldn't concentrate on anything other than having to explain what had happened to Weir and Sheppard. She knew he was attempting to take her mind off things and she appreciated the effort, but she couldn't dismiss her fear and dread over the upcoming confrontation.

The puddle jumper passed through the 'Gate, then its momentum was halted by the automatic system and they hovered over the floor of the Gateroom. Laura tensed automatically.

"It'll be fine," Rodney told her in a low voice, obviously picking up on her discomfort.

"Yeah," she replied, unconvinced by that reassurance.

The jumper moved upwards towards the hanger. As the craft cleared the opening, Laura noticed that Weir and Sheppard were there already, along with Carson. They'd obviously anticipated a problem even though she'd not radioed for medical assistance.

She let the jumper come to a stop and then exited slowly. She watched Sheppard's face as Rodney followed her out, seeing shock and horror as he took in the injured scientist. It rapidly turned to something else and he glared at her.

"Lieutenant? What the _hell _happened?"

"Leave her alone," Rodney snapped. "This is purely my fault."

Laura watched Sheppard's eyes widen in surprise. He stared at Rodney as if the scientist had grown an extra head. "Okay," he said slowly, obviously not sure as to what was going on. "But you should have radioed in that you had a medical emergency Lieutenant."

"That was my fault too," Rodney said. "I didn't want to make a fuss."

"Well that's new," Weir said. She'd seemed as shocked as Sheppard over Rodney's appearance but was recovering faster. Laura presumed it was the condescending tone of voice that assured them he wasn't too badly hurt.

"Dare I ask what happened?" Sheppard asked.

"Aye," Carson added, giving Laura a hard look. "That's what I'd like to know too."

"I was stupid," Rodney said. "I took a risk and paid the consequences."

"He was exposed to a solar flare," Laura expanded. Carson and Weir looked shocked but Sheppard just looked at Rodney and then rolled his eyes.

"Of course you did," he said sourly, "because getting through a simple expedition without injury just isn't your style."

Rodney had the grace to seem slightly abashed. "Yeah, well. I just didn't think..."

"Save it," Sheppard sighed in a resigned tone. "This discussion is probably best left until _after _your visit to infirmary."

"My thoughts exactly," Rodney said.

Laura sat on the bed and watched Carson check her vitals. She didn't think she'd gotten any exposure to the radiation on the planet but was certainly happy to make sure. Rodney had been put into an isolation room, more out of over-cautiousness than any real need. The Ancient machines had already scanned him, though she wasn't aware of what the results had been.

"So how is Rodney?" she asked Carson. She watched his reaction carefully; knowing that her answer would come more from that than what he actually told her. He sighed.

"He's taken a battering but I think he'll pull through."

The comment told her nothing and Laura got the strong impression he was holding something back.

"And his eyesight?" she pressed. Carson paused in taking her blood pressure; his body tensed and he didn't look at her. She went cold. "Carson? You don't think it's reversible, do you?"

Carson sighed again and looked up at her. "It's too early to tell. However I suspect not."

"Have you told him?"

"Not yet. There are a few more tests. I won't tell him anything until I've explored all options."

Laura smiled. "Thanks, Carson."

"It's my job, love."

"I know, but I'm glad you're... that you won't give up."

Carson removed the wrap from around her upper arm. She could tell from his face he was trying to find a way to broach something he believed sensitive. He looked up finally and she saw a faint pain in his eyes.

"What happened down there?" he asked her. Laura dropped her gaze, knowing he wasn't referring to anything to do with the research.

"I..." she said. She looked at him and saw from his expression he already knew. Words failed her.

"So it finally happened."

"I'm sorry?" she asked, confused by that.

"You and Rodney."

Laura stared at him and then blushed. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologise, Laura; we were over a while ago. And to be honest, I've seen this coming for weeks. You two were always so..." He waved his hand vaguely; an action that made Laura smile – it was something Rodney did and he'd obviously rubbed off on more than just her.

"Does it help if I tell you it was completely unexpected?"

"It'll help as long as I know you're happy."

"We-we have a way to go yet. Especially with this..." Her eyes went to the isolation room and her voice caught. She took a deep breath to stop from falling apart there and then.

"You're clear physically," he told her then. "But I think you should go and talk to Doctor Heightmeyer."

Laura rolled her eyes. "Do I have to?" she whined and Carson laughed.

"I think you should. And it gives me the time I need to run the last few tests I have on Rodney. Go and talk to Kate; I'll have news by the time you're through."

"Thank you, Carson," she said. She slipped off the bed and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

Kate Heightmeyer opened the door and smiled at Laura.

"Laura," she greeted her. "Come in. I've been expecting you."

"Have you?" Laura wondered vaguely as she walked into the room. Out of the window she could see the panorama of the city, shining brightly in the sun. She smiled at the sight, feeling a sense of pride in the place that was slowly becoming her home.

"I heard what happened to Doctor McKay on your mission, so yes."

"I'm okay, Kate. Just a little shaken up."

"I can imagine – you had to deal with serious injuries by yourself with no recourse to proper medical help. It must have been very stressful."

Laura sat down. "I suppose it was." She shrugged. "But I'm pretty good at administrating injections now, so when Sheppard court-martials me out of the navy, I have a possible medical career to pursue."

"I doubt Colonel Sheppard is going to do any such thing."

"No? I was sent on that mission for two reasons – to assist and to protect. And I failed rather spectacularly at the latter."

"From my understanding it was Doctor McKay that chose to go out unprotected. That you told him to suit up and he ignored you. I think you did everything you could."

"Then why do I still feel guilty?"

"I don't know," Kate said softly, sitting on the opposite couch. "Why do you?"

"Because... God, Kate, have you seen him? That's nothing to how bad it was, it really isn't," Laura said and the horror of the whole thing finally broke through her walls and she broke down.

Kate moved over and put her arms around Laura, holding her as the tears turned to sobbing. For once she said nothing, just stroked Laura's back until the storm had passed. Finally she ran out of tears and energy. She sat sniffing until Kate passed her some tissues. She blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes.

"Sorry," she apologised.

"Don't be. You needed to get that out. It isn't healthy to bottle things up."

"I had to," Laura explained. "I couldn't... let go before. Rodney needed me too much."

"He was very fortunate that you were there."

Laura shrugged. "Anyone would have done the same."

"Not everyone has had the history you have though."

"That's behind us, Kate," Laura said.

Kate cocked her head. "'Us'?" she echoed. "That's different."

"Yeah, well… things are," Laura said. She twisted the tissue round her finger, wondering whether to explain that further. She looked at up Kate. "Something happened. Not just the whole incident, but something else."

"Something between you and Rodney?"

Laura nodded. "There's always been… I don't know how to explain. A link, I guess you could say, ever since the Dart."

"That's not surprising given the circumstances," Kate remarked.

"Carson and I… there was always this barrier and I couldn't figure out what it was. Turns out he was waiting for me to realise what Rodney meant to me."

"And what does Rodney mean to you?"

Laura gave a soft laugh at the loaded question. Her eyes went to the window again, her mind going back to the cave and his mouth on hers. The memory made her shiver. "I'm in love with him," she admitted then. Normally she wouldn't be getting so heavy so early in a relationship, but there was no point in calling her feelings anything less.

Kate blinked in surprise. "You love him? Since when?"

"I'm not really sure. Before we went, though." Laura laughed. "I guess somewhere between getting stuck in his head and then being accused of working for the Trust. It's been very insidious though; I didn't realise I felt anything until I went to fix the MALP. We argued about that – Rodney didn't want me to go; he didn't want me to risk myself. I knew there was something then, and when I got back... I've never seen him like that, Kate. I mean, I knew he was worried about me when we were merged because I could feel it, but this was different."

"So you realised he felt something for you and that made you realise those feelings were mutual?"

"Not exactly. I knew when… when… He kissed me."

"Rodney?" Kate asked, shocked. "Rodney kissed you?"

"I know! It was totally out of the blue but… Damn it felt right, Kate."

"Wow. I mean, really, wow."

"I know. I think that's why it's hit me so hard."

"Undoubtedly," Kate agreed.

"I don't know what's going to happen now, though."

"Now that you've back on Atlantis you mean?"

Laura nodded. "Yes," she said in a low voice. "It might have just been a reaction to the situation. Couldn't it?"

"It could have been," Kate admitted slowly. "Rodney however… Well, he's not someone I imagine would act like that, even under duress. I think it's more likely the situation was a wake-up call for him, Laura. Especially since he only kissed you after you'd risked yourself."

"Do you think he loves me?" Laura asked her directly.

"Does he say so?"

"Yes."

"Then he does," Kate said, sitting back, satisfied.

Laura shook her head. "But what's going to happen? I mean, aside from the fact Colonel Sheppard is likely to send me back to Earth for allowing the situation to get so out of control, how do I know Rodney won't shut me out again?"

"You don't," Kate told her honestly. "I can't promise you that this is going to be easy, Laura. Rodney… Rodney is a complicated man in many respects."

"Well, I know that," Laura said, smiling ruefully.

"To be entirely honest, you're probably the best person for him. You seen the real him, you know how much of his attitude is a front. It gives you something of an advantage."

"Yes."

"So really it's down to you. You have to decide whether a relationship with Rodney is what you want."

"I can't decide that just yet," Laura said in a low voice. "I have to know what if anything  
Colonel Sheppard has to say about what happened."

"Then maybe you should go and talk to him," Kate pointed out.

Laura nodded slowly and stood up. "Thanks for everything, Kate."

The psychiatrist pulled her into a tight hug. "It'll turn out okay, you'll see."

"Maybe," Laura replied, not willing to get her hopes up. "I'm going to talk to Sheppard."

John Sheppard was sat on his bed reading a chapter of War and Peace when the door chimed. He got up and activated it. It slid open to reveal a pale looking Laura Cadman. He blinked, surprised that she'd come to see him. His earlier fury at the state Rodney'd returned in had long evaporated and now he could see exactly what toll the events had taken on the young lieutenant.

"Can I talk to you please Sir?" she asked him. She sounded downright nervous.

John stepped aside and motioned for her to come in. "Sure, Laura, and it's John while we're off duty."

Laura turned and looked at him. "Does that mean we're okay?"

"Look, about before – I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, especially without knowing the facts. So yeah, we're fine."

"Oh good," Laura looked nearly weak with relief.

"Sit down before you fall down," John advised her. She sank on to his chair and ran her hand over her face. She looked just utterly shattered. "Actually, you look like you could do with some serious sleep."

Laura gave a humourless laugh. "I doubt I could; Carson's currently running tests to find out if Rodney is ever going to get his sight back." She shuddered. "I hope to God he finds something good."

John sat on his bed. "Rodney's become pretty important to you, hasn't he?"

"Yeah."

"You know he likes you? I probably shouldn't tell you, but he does go on about you rather a lot. I told him he should just get on with snogging you already."

Laura chuckled softly. "So that's where that came from."

John blinked again. "What, he has?"

"Yeah." Laura was grinning, a pretty blush colouring her cheeks.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Back on the planet. I think… I think we're good."

John was amazed. "Whoa. Did hell freeze over on that planet or something? Or am I just not getting this. Rodney kissed you?"

"Yes," Laura laughed.

"Rodney McKay?"

"We have a different Rodney?"

"Wow. Well… that unexpected."

"You're telling me!"

John stared at Laura for a while. Despite the blush and the wide smile, he detected a shadow in her eyes. He thought about Rodney, blinded and waiting to hear whether he'd be so for the rest of his life, and sighed. There had been no doubt in John's mind that Rodney and Laura would get together eventually. He just wondered why the fact it had come about through extreme measures surprised him.

"How are you doing, Laura?" he asked her gently.

"I'm okay."

"Really?"

She sighed. "I just need to know whether… whether he's ever going to able to see again. Not that it makes a difference to me, I… that doesn't affect how I feel. But I know that he needs to know. What I'm… afraid of, I guess, is how he'd handle it if Carson can't…" He voice cracked and she stopped.

John reached out and padded her hand awkwardly, unable to offer any comfort. There were too many questions that remained unanswered. His headset chirped and he pressed the button.

"Sheppard here."

"John?" Carson's brogue said over the radio. "Is Laura there?"

John's eyes slid over to the lieutenant. "Yes."

"Then can you come to the infirmary immediately? And bring Laura - there's something I need to show you both."


	10. Chapter 10

Laura raced ahead of John, oblivious to his shouted warning. She had no idea what Carson had to tell them but reckoned the sooner she found out, the sooner she could deal with it.

She skidded round the corner into the infirmary. Carson was stood by a bed, with Rodney in it, and they both looked over at her. The blueness of Rodney's eyes was obvious even across the room.

The relief Laura felt at this restoration nearly floored her. She caught the doorframe as her knees buckled. Her own eyes blurred.

"Oh my God," John's voice said. Laura felt a hand settle on her back. "Go to him," the colonel murmured softly to her. She nodded dumbly and pushed off the doorframe. Her hands shook as she walked across to where Rodney was grinning impudently at her. There was no sign of the scarring or the sunburn.

Laura shook her head in amazement and looked at Carson. "How?"

"Oh just a wee gene manipulation courtesy of a blood sample and the wonders of Ancient technology," Carson said.

"It was my idea," Rodney informed her smugly.

"Aye, you say that now," Carson said irritably. "If it had ne worked, it'd be a different story."

Laura chuckled. John had come over and he placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder.

"Nice one Carson," he said, then slapped Rodney on the back. "Congrats buddy."

"Ow," Rodney whined. "Mind the vertebra."

John rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna go share the good news with Elizabeth. Catch you later, guys." He sauntered out.

Laura turned back to Rodney, still wondering at the incredible change. She gave him a misty smile and reached out to touch his face tenderly.

Carson coughed. "Think I'm… needed elsewhere." He beat a hasty retreat, leaving them alone.

Rodney swung his legs off the bed and stood up. He cast a furtive glance in the direction Carson had gone and then hooked a hand around Laura's waist, pulling her to him. He grinned down at her and then trailed the fingers of his other hand through her hair.

"You're beautiful," he informed her. "I am so glad we figured something out because I'd hate to have never been able to see you again."

Laura swallowed against the threat of tears. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his chest.

"Hey, hey, no crying!" he exclaimed. "This is a good thing!"

"I know," she said, laughing and crying all at once. She rubbed her eyes. "Sorry, it's just…. Oh Rodney, I was so scared."

The grin faded and he cupped her face. "Shush," he soothed. "It's okay. Everything's okay. I'm sorry. I really put you through hell, didn't I?"

Laura shook her head. "That doesn't matter. I'm just glad you're alright."

"I'm fine," he assured her. He slid the hand to the back of her neck and claimed her mouth. Laura lent into him and he held her tighter. Blood thundered in her ears as the kiss became passionate.

Rodney pulled back. "K," he breathed heavily. "That's enough of that right now."

"Ohhh," Laura whined. "Why?"

"Because I doubt Carson would appreciate me doing what I have in mind in the middle of his infirmary," he told her, giving her a dark, glittering look that made her shiver.

She looked round. "Well he's not here. Let's play hooky and take this somewhere a little more private."

"Laura…"

"Or don't you want me?" She pouted at him.

Rodney looked pained. "That's not fair and you know it. And quit that." He pushed her bottom lip with his thumb. "Elizabeth's probably going to want to see me."

Laura shook her head with a chuckle. "She'll want no such thing – Sheppard went to see her and he… well he kinda knows we hooked up."

"Oh really?"

"Uh huh. So if he's told her the kind of thing I reckon he's told her… well no one's going to be looking for us for a while."

Rodney smiled slowly. "Well isn't that interesting?" He drawled the word, mimicking her pronunciation perfectly.

"Very, very interesting," she retorted, worming closer again. "So…?"

"Somewhere more private here we come."

They opted for Rodney's quarters. Well Rodney decided he wanted to go to his quarters because that where his laptop was and he wanted to "check a couple of things". Laura was happy to go wherever, though less than impressed by his plans. Still, she knew she had a whole range of distractions at her disposal if Rodney got distracted.

She sat on his bed and kicked off her trainers as he powered up the laptop and accessed the program they'd been running down on the planet. She watched him for a while, taking pleasure in the simple fact he could read the data by himself.

However, this didn't last long and she grew bored. Diversionary tactics were called for. She stripped off her t-shirt, bra and socks and padded bare foot across the carpet to where Rodney sat. She lent against him, pressing her naked breasts on his neck. He froze.

"Put it down and come to bed," she murmured into his ear and then nibbled at the lobe. She felt a shudder run through him.

"Okay," he said. He shut the laptop and placed it on the table, moving away from her as he did so. He then turned round and stared at her. "Um. Wow."

Laura giggled. "Thanks." She stood straight and flicked her hair back. "There's more to see though." She offered him a smug little grin and shimmied out of her trousers to stand in front of him completely naked.

Rodney swallowed hard, raking her body with his eyes. A distinctly hungry expression came onto his face. "You're incredible," he told her reverently. "And so hot. Come here."

"Oh no," she replied, backing away. "You come here, Rodney."

His expression darkened. "Okay," he said and stood abruptly. He pulled off his own t-shirt in one smooth move and then launched across the room. Laura backed up further, but was hampered by the bed. The back of her knees buckled as they hit the mattress, at which point Rodney reached her.

They tumbled onto the bed, a tangle of arms and legs, Laura giggling helplessly. He ran a hand up from hip to breast and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Hmm," she moaned and raked her nails down his back. She slipped her fingers under the band of his trousers. "You're wearing too much Rodney."

"That I can correct."

"Yeah? Well do so, and be quick about it."

Rodney gave a dirty chuckle and shucked off the bed. Laura shifted up to lie on it properly, rolling onto her side to watch him strip. He caught her ogling him and looked faintly embarrassed.

"What?"

"Just enjoying the view," she told him smugly.

He looked her up and down. "Likewise," he remarked, causing her to blush.

"Get your ass over here, McKay," Laura retorted.

Rodney smirked and went over. She wrapped her arms round his neck as he clambered on top of her, closing her eyes and he kissed her hard on the mouth.

"Why has this taken us so long?" he wondered.

"Absolutely no idea," she answered, sliding her hands down his back to grasp his buttocks. "But it's all the more reason for you to get on with it."

He chuckled and repositioned himself. He paused then, looking at her questioningly. Laura rolled her eyes and wrapped her les around his, pulling him towards her. He chuckled again and shifted, sliding into her slowly.

Laura closed her eyes with a soft groan. He rested on top of her, breathing hard and trembling slightly. She hugged him tightly, knowing he was feeling overwhelmed.

"Laura," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

"I know," she soothed. "I know."

"Do you?" he said. "Do you have any idea of how I feel about you?"

"Why don't you tell me? Or better yet, why don't you show me?"

Rodney lent up on his elbows and looked down at her. She smiled warmly, and then rocked her hips suggestively. He gave a soft laugh and stroked out and back into her. Laura gave a hum of appreciation.

"Like that?" he enquired.

"Just like that."

"'K."

He continued, stroking her at a slow, gentle pace that heated every cell in her body. Laura had expected sex with Rodney McKay to be hard and fast but it seemed he could calm his usual frenetic energy when he wanted. She just wasn't sure she wanted him to right now; the slowness was teasing and frustrating her.

"Faster," she moaned, clutching desperately at his buttocks.

"Not yet," he murmured back. "I'm enjoying myself."

"You're winding me up," Laura retorted.

"I know – that's why I'm enjoying it."

"Bastard."

Rodney pulled out and teased her entrance. "You wanna take that back?"

Laura groaned. "Stop it. Yes, I do. Just… Rodney, please."

"Please what?"

"I want you. I want it harder. I want you to make me come."

Rodney's eyes darkened. "Be careful what you wish for, Laura," he said and thrust in hard, making her gasp at the sudden intrusion. She arched, tilting her hips and grinding herself against him. He groaned in response and all control vanished.

Laura had a fleeting thought that this was far more like what she expected, but then the sheer pleasure blotted any other sane idea from her brain. She moaned at each thrust, scrabbling at him; needing more, needing him in a way she couldn't fathom never mind put into words.

Bizarrely she found herself recalling everything: from the first moment they'd met in the Gateroom and something had sparked between them; through the two days she'd occupied his head, privy to his inner self; the handful of chance meetings that had inevitably left her feeling displaced; the threat of the Trust and the vicious argument they'd had afterwards; right up to the mission to the planet and the awful recollection of him blind and burnt.

A familiar tension wound round Laura's gut and she knew she was close to climax. She arched again, seeking that release.

"Rodney," she gasped as it washed over her. She felt him tense and then shudder as he responded in kind. He half collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. For the longest time she lay beneath him, one hand trailing up and down his spine as she revelled in the aftermath and the rightness of what they'd just done.

"I love you," he murmured then.

Laura found herself grinning ridiculously at that. "Yeah, I know," she said smugly.

Rodney propped himself up on one elbow. "And?" he demanded.

"And what?" she replied innocently.

"You know what?" he said grumpily. Then he looked slightly panicked. "Or don't you?"

Laura chuckled. "Relax, Rodney. I've not just used you for sex. Even if it was damn good sex. I love you too."

He grinned and then sighed. "You're crazy."

"Yes, I know."

"Hey!" He looked affronted.

"Well you said it," she said and then pulled him back to her before he could go off in a mood. "I'm not crazy for loving you. Or if I am, then I don't care. Nothing that feels as right as this does can be wrong, Rodney."

He turned back to her, wonder on his face. "It does, doesn't it?"

Laura nodded.

"Wow," he said. "Okay, that's just a little bit scary."

She nodded again. "I was thinking before, about everything, every time we… you know, we should have seen this coming right from the start?"

"Yes. I think I did, but I was dating Katie and you… you were this pain-in-the-ass marine that rubbed me up the wrong way."

"I got under your skin."

"Don't remind me."

Laura chuckled. "I didn't mean that, but there was that as well."

"We've come a long way," he remarked, stroking her hair back from her face. "You know, as stupid as I was I'm really, really glad about what I did. I… I would have… That is to say that even if I hadn't come up with a fix, being blind wouldn't be a loss compared to what I gained."

"Rodney," she sighed, her eyes filling up.

"I mean that," he said seriously. "This… this is everything I dreamed for and never thought I'd have. I know what I am, Laura. I know how petty and arrogant I am. I'm mean and small-minded and half the time I'm amazed that anyone puts up with me. So I really don't understand how anyone could love me."

"Because you are more than all that. Even at your worst, you only ever have others in mind. That's why Duronda happened and forgive me for bringing up, but it's apt. It wasn't just pride and arrogance that you were determined to make that weapon work, it was the need to make Collins' death mean something, and have Atlantis protected into the bargain."

Rodney looked uncertain. "I suppose," he shrugged.

"And while we're bringing up stuff you'd rather forget, when I got stuck in your head you were determined to save me, despite everything I'd done, because you do care. People matter to you even if you pretend otherwise. Don't deny it."

"I'm not. Atlantis is important to me. This is the first place I've ever felt like a part of. I feel like I'm contributing and not just because I'm a genius because it's not always about that."

"No, it's not. You're a good man, Rodney McKay. And I love you."

He smiled and snuggled against her. "I know."

Elizabeth was reading Laura's preliminary report on the events on the planet when John sauntered into her office. The overly pleased look on his face alerted her and she closed the file and looked at him curiously.

"Carson and Rodney came up with a plan," he reported.

She felt a surge of hope. "Oh?"

"Yeah, seems like they found a use for that equipment we hadn't labelled yet. Seems like it can manipulate DNA."

"Please tell me this means what I think it does."

John grinned at her. "Yeah. Rodney's back to his all-seeing, all-condescending self."

"Oh thank God," Elizabeth breathed in utter relief. "I am so glad. I hadn't got the faintest idea what we were going to do otherwise. I was reading Lieutenant Cadman's report and… But it doesn't matter. Thank God."

"Thank Ancient machinery and the combined brains of Carson and Rodney," John said.

Elizabeth gave a soft laugh and stood up. "I should go and see him."

"No," he said. "You really shouldn't."

"Oh."

"Well it turns out he and Laura found more than just a new power source down there. By my reckoning, they should be well into investigating that now."

Elizabeth stared at him. "Rodney and Laura?" she managed finally.

"Uh huh."

"Really?"

"You could go and check if you wanted. They were last seen going into Rodney's quarters and she was more or less draped all over him. Given her determination in a particular direction, I can pretty well imagine what they're doing right now."

Elizabeth blushed; so could she. "Okay, well maybe I won't."

"Wise decision. Tell you what, I'm free and I'm hungry. You wanna join me for some lunch?"

"Yes, sure. Why not?"

"Yeah. And you can pay me that five dollars you owe me - I told you they'd get together."


End file.
